Top 100 Funny Science Jokes and Science Puns
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Science and math might not always seem like such silly subjects. However, that doesn’t mean that scientists don’t like to joke around. Check out below for the top 100 funny science jokes and science puns including everything from ions to the Bermuda Triangle. Perhaps you can even use some of them at your next science fair!
Table of Contents
#100 – 90. Funny Science Jokes and Science Puns
#100. What did one ion say to the other? I’ve got my ion you.
#99. Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.
#98. How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
#97. Three kittens were on a roof. which one slipped off first? The one with the lowest µ (“mew”: coefficient of friction).
#96. What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!
#95. What did the proton tell the electron? Don’t be so negative!
#94. Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
#93. Which doctor is the worst seen by his patients? The ophthalmologist.
#92. Where do mice put their dead to rest? A mouseoleum
#91. How often do I make chemistry-related jokes? Periodically!!
#90. What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium.
#89 – 80. Funny Science Jokes and Science Puns
#89.
Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”
#88.
Student: I… have a confession to Make Prof
Professor: Uh Oh
Student: I had an accident in the Lab
Professor: Did anyone die ?
Student: No
Professor: Is anyone going to sue us ?
Student: No
Professor: Was any eqipment permanently damaged ?
Student: No
Professor: Did you clean it up ?
Student: Of course
Professor: Did you get data out of it ?
Student: Actually yes…
Professor: CAN YOU DO IT AGAIN
First person: What would a woman version of iron man be called?
Second Person: I don’t know what?
First Person: Fe male
Student: Thank God ! I am born after 1773. Otherwise i would have been died without it.
#83. Watt is love? Baby don’t hertz me.
#81.
Heisenberg is out for a country drive in his new Lamborghini.
A police officer stops him and asks :” Do you know how fast you were going?’
Heisenberg responds; ” No, but I know exactly where I am”
#80.
Oh, There You Are!
They just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes.
#79 – 70. Funny Science Jokes and Science Puns
#79. Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.
#78. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.
#77. Hydrogen walks into a bar. Bartender hands him a drink. Hydrogen tries to pay. Bartender says “For you, no charge”.
#76. Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
#75. The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
#74. I was going to tell a good chemistry joke, but they argon.
#73. Old chemistry teachers never die, they just fail to react.
#72. There are 2 types of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
#71. If you’re NOT part of the SOLUTION; you’re part of the PRECIPITATE.
#70. Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.
#69 – 60. Funny Science Jokes and Science Puns
#69. Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have H2O”. The second one says “I’ll have H2O too”. The second one dies.
#68. A photon checks into a hotel. When asked if it needs a bellman, it responds “No, I’m traveling light”
#67. I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
#66. I was reading a book on helium. I couldn’t put it down.
#65. I was reading a book on anti gravity. I found it difficult to put down.
#64. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.
#63. Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division
#62. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
#61. For every PhD there is an equal and Opposite PhD.
#60. Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division
#59 – 50. Funny Science Jokes and Science Puns
#59. What is the most egoist creature living in the sea? The “shelfish”.
#58. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
#57. Which law of science applies to salads? Cole’s Law.
#56. What is the name of the molecule CH2O? Seawater
#55. Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
#54. How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.
#53. What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny? An ether bunny
#52. Why did Dracula quit grad school? His next-generation sequencing results drove him bat ChIP crazy.
#51. How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.
#50. What does the diamond say to the diamond? “Sorry, I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately”
#49 – 40. Funny Science Jokes and Science Puns
#49. What do you call someone who steals energy? A Joule Thief!
#48.
Three statisticians go hunting for deer. They spot one off in the distance. The first one shoots about a meter too high, the second one, about a meter too low, the third one yells, “We got it!”
#47.
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too” — and he died.
#46.
Supervisor to student: “How did you manage to clone a C.elegans gene instead of the one we wanted?”
Student: “I did as you told me and spread the bacteria after transformation onto pre-wormed plates.”
#45.
After death, one scientist was sent to heaven. He tried to call the Lab but it was “very costly”. After, he saw one of his colleagues keep calling from the hell. He inquired from the gate keeper…why it is so…Gate keeper replied “Hell to Lab calls are always considered “local”.
#44. Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide.
#43. What is the moon’s favorite gum? Orbit.
#42.
One mouse to another: “look at that fellow with white coat on. whenever I push the paddle, he starts writing something!!!”
#41.
When a third grader was asked to cite Newton’s first law, she said, “Bodies in motion remain in motion, and bodies at rest stay in bed unless their mothers call them to get up.”
#40.
If I cross two drosophila females “ménage-a-trois” with a male “barbie and ken” mutants, what is the result? Nothing, Barbie and Ken don’t have genitals.
PS. “ménage-a-trois” and “barbie and ken” are Drosophila gene names.
#39 – 30. Funny Science Jokes and Science Puns
#39. Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.
#38. Has anyone considered helium just floated to the top of the periodic table? HeHe
#37. What is the show Caesium and Iodine love watching together? CsI
#36. Where do astronauts hang out? At the space bar.
#35. What does a subatomic duck say? Quark.
#34. How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the Universe.
#33. Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions!
#31. What do you call an educated tube? A graduated cylinder.
#30. What is a physicist’s favorite food? Fission Chips.
#29 – 20. Funny Science Jokes and Science Puns
#29. Whoever invented Knock Know Jokes deserves a No Bell Prize.
#28. If the Space is curved… what floating shelf should I hang???!!!
#27. I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like OMg.
#26. He threw sodium chloride at me! That’s a salt!
#25. The lab smells like rotten eggs you say? Sorry to hear about your sulfuring.
#24. Einstein developed a theory about space…and it was about time too.
#23. Please conserve energy, turn off the lights. Joke’s on you. Energy is always conserved.
#22. My favorite frequency is 50,000 Hz. You’ve probably never heard it before.
#21. Two blood cells met and fell in love…but alas it was all in vein.
#20. I put my root beer in a square cup. Now it’s just beer.
#19 – 10. Funny Science Jokes and Science Puns
#19.
Dear NASA,
Your mom said I was big enough.
Love, Pluto
#18.
Proton: Electron! It’s proton. Where the hell are you?!
Electron: Oooh, hmmm. That’s a toughy…yeah. I can tell you where I probably am, does that help?
#17.
A neutron walks into a bar, and asks the bartender how much for a drink? “For you, no charge.”
#16.
Oxygen: You guys wanna go watch a movie?
Potassium: K.
Sodium: Na.
#15.
Water: Hey oil! Wanna hang out?
Oil: I can’t mix with you guys.
Water: Hydrophobe!
#14.
Don’t drink water while studying…
Chemistry states that concentration decreases upon adding water.
#13.
Argon walks into a bar…
The bartender says, “Get out! We don’t allow noble gases here!”
…Argon doesn’t react.
#12. What period of time has the least weight? A light year.
#11.
Polar bear: Help! Help! I’m dissolving!
Bear: But bears are insoluble…
Polar bear: That’s easy for you to say…you’re not Polar!
#10. What would you call a re-make of the classic film TRON? Neutron.
#9 – 1. Funny Science Jokes and Science Puns
#9. A physicist and a biologist had a relationship, but there was no chemistry.
#8. What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot? Mitosis!
#7. An infectious disease enters a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind in here.” It replies, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”
#6. Where does bad light end up? In Prism.
#5. My friend, Power, has been super stressed all week. His boss keeps making him work overtime. (P=W/t)
#4. Accidentally hit lab partner in head with human bone. It is humerus.
#3. Schrodinger get stopped by a cop. The cop searches the car and asks, “Did you know there’s a dead cat in here?” He replies, “well, now I do!”
#2. There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary. And those who don’t.
#1. I made a chemistry joke…there was no reaction.
The quotes were taken from the following resources.[1]Mangobaaz – 27 Of The Funniest Science Jokes That Will Have The Science Nerd In You Laughing Like Crazy[2]The Science Advisory Board – List of The Best Science Jokes[3]Buzzfeed – 22 Tumblr Science Jokes That Will Make You Laugh and Groan[4]Reader’s Digest – 20 Funny Science Jokes, According to Someone Who Once Got a B-Minus in Biology[5]Business Insider – 31 of the most cringe-worthy science jokes[6]Ranker – Funny Science Pun to Keep Your Ion the Prize[7]EMGN – 25 Science Pun That Are Just For The Nerds[8]silicon republic – 27 Science Week puns to make you laugh and cringe in equal measure[9]Boredom Therapy – Here Are 25 Jokes That Only Nerds Will Understand. If You Laugh Then Yep, You’re A Nerd![10]CP Lab Safety – Science Jokes: Laughs for Scientists
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