Top 101 Bird Jokes

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Birds are majestic animals. However, they can also be very funny animals. With that in mind, check out the top 101 bird jokes that will have you squawking with laughter.

#101 – 9. Bird Jokes

101. Q: Which bird is at every meal? A: The swallow.

100. Q: What do you call a chicken in the 1960’s? A: A funky chicken.

99. Q: What do you call a bird with a black belt? A: Steven Seagull.

98. What bird doesn’t need a comb? bald eagles

97. Q: What kind of bird runs the church? A: A cardinal!

96. Q: How many cans does it take to make a bird? A: Two cans.

95. Q: Why did the owl, owl? A: Because the woodpecker would peck ‘er!

94. Q: What kind of birds do you usually find locked up? A: Jail-birds!

93. Q: Did you hear about the seabird that was friends with a black cat? A: It was an albatross.

92. What’s green and pecks on trees? Woody the Wood Pickle.

91. Q: What kind of math do birds like? A: Owlgebra.

90. Q: What do you call a very rude bird? A: A mockingbird!

#89 – 80. Bird Jokes

89. Q: What did the gamekeeper say to the lord of the manor? A: ‘The pheasants are revolting’!

88. Q: What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek? A: Fowl play!

87. Q: What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb? A: A bald eagle.

86. Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark? A: A bird that will talk you ear off!

85. Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!

84. Q: What do you call a bird that kicks your butt? A: Steven Seagull.

83. Q: What bird is helpful at dinner? A: A swallow!

82. Girl: One of my ex-boyfriends sounds like an owl. Boy: Who?

81. Q: How many birds does it take to change a light bulb? A: Toucan do it.

80. Q : What did the Eagle say when he was cold? A: Birrrrrd.

#79 – 70. Bird Jokes

79. “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Cakatoo” “Cakatoo who?” “So you’re a Rooster now?”

78. Why does the bird bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.

77. A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realised that toucan play a game.

76. Q: What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? A: Shredded tweet.

75. Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees? A: Birds of prey!

74. Q: Why did the bird get a ticket? A: It broke the law of gravity!

73. Q: Which bird is always out of breath? A: A puffin!

72. Q: What happens when ducks fly upside down? A: They quack up!

71. Q: When does a teacher carry birdseed? A: When there is a parrot-teacher conference!

70. Why couldn’t anyone see the bird? Because it was in da sky’s

#69 – 60. Bird Jokes

69. My pet bird can predict the future. He’s an omen pigeon.

68. Q: Where does bird royalty live? A: Duckingham Palace.

67. I published a book about birds. It flew off the shelf.

66. Q: What is the most uncomfortable of all birds? A: The Wedgie-tailed eagle.

65. What do birds like about outside? Debris.

64. Q: What bird can you buy at the grocery store? A: A kiwi

63. What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.

62. Q: How do you get a parrot to talk properly? A: Send him to polytechnic!

61. Q: Why couldn’t anyone see the bird? A: Because it was in da skies! (disguise)

60. Q: Where do blind sparrows go for treatment? A: The Birds Eye counter!

#59 – 50. Bird Jokes

59. Q: What is the definition of Robin? A: A bird who steals! Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment!

58. Q: Why do seagulls like to live by the sea? A: Because if they lived by the bay they would be bagels!

57. Q: How did the bird break into the house? A: With a crow bar.

56. Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a parrot? A: A carrot.

55. Q: What do you get if you kiss a bird? A: A peck on the cheek!

54. Q: What is a hawks favorite show? A: Bird “House of Cards”.

53. Q: There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll? A: Roosters don’t lay eggs!

52. Q: How do blue jays stay fit? A: Wormups.

51. Q: How do you catch a unique bird? A: Unique up on it.

50. Q: What did the sick chicken say? A: Oh no! I have the people-pox!

#49 – 40. Bird Jokes

49. If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot how many are there still on the fence? None the rest fly away

48. Q: What does a farmer call an escaped bird? A: a loose goose.

47. Q: Why do scientists think humming birds hum? A: Because they can’t remember the words!

46. Q: Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? A: Because he had a very big bill.

45. Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework? A: A firequaker!

44. Q: Why did the wolf cross the road? A: To eat the chicken.

43. Q: What do you call a crate of ducks? A: A box of quackers!

42. Q: What flies through the jungle singing opera? A: The parrots of Penzance!

41. How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely? With its sparrowchute.

40. Q: What is a duck’s favorite TV show? A: The feather forecast!

#39 – 30. Bird Jokes

39. Q: What kind of bird works at a construction site? A: The crane!

38. Q: What do you call a sick eagle? A: Illegal

37. Q: Why do hummingbirds hum? A: Because they forgot the words!

36. What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

35. Q: What does a bird like in his soup? A: Crowtons.

34. Q: What did the maple tree say to the woodpecker? A: Leaf me alone!

33. Q: What is a parrot’s favorite game? A: Hide and Speak!

32. Q: What do you get when you cross an owl and an oyster? A: Pearls of Wisdom

31. Q: What books did the owl like? A: Hoot-dunits!

30. Q: What bird movie won an Oscar? A: Lord of the Wings.

#29 – 20. Bird Jokes

29. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.

28. Q: What is black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? A: A penguin rolling down a hill

27. Why did the doves miss the wedding? They were under the feather.

26. Q: Where do birds invest their money? A: In the stork market!

25. Q: What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu? A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

24. Which birds are good at holding things together? Velcrows.

23. Why are birds good at social media? Because they ‘tweet’ all the time!!!?

22. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

21. Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment!

20. Q: What’s another name for a clever duck? A: A wise quacker!

#19 – 10. Bird Jokes

19. Q: How do you catch a tame bird? A: The tame way, unique up on it!

18. Q: What do you do if a bird shits on your car? A: Don’t ask her out again.

17. Q: What do you call a duck on drugs? A: a quackhead

16. Q: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat? A: Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!

15. Why does a stork stand on one leg? Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

14. Q: How do you know that owls are cleverer than chickens? A: Have you ever heard of Kentucky-fried owl!

13. What do you call a sad bird? A bluebird.

12. Q: What is black and white and black and white and black and white and…? A: A penguin falling down the stairs!

11. Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely? A: With its sparrowchute.

10. Q: What language do birds speak? A: Pigeon English!

#9 – 1. Bird Jokes

9. Q: What is a polygon? A: A dead parrot!

8. Q: What is green and pecks on trees? A: Woody the Wood Pickle.

7. Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole? He wanted to make a long distance caw.

6. Q: Which bird is always sad? A: The blue bird

5. Q: How do you get a cut-price parrot? A: Plant bird seed!

4. Q: What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish? A: Tweetie Pie!

3. Q: What language do geese speak? A: Porchageese

2. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff.

1. Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: It was the chicken’s day off.

Ideas for the top 101 funny bird jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Ducksters – Bird Joke^[2]Jokes 4 Us – Bird Joke^[3]Funology – Bird Joke^[4]LaffGaff – Funny Bird Jokes & Puns^[5]Worst Jokes Ever – Bird Joke^[6]Fun Kids Jokes – Bird Joke for Kids