Top 101 Corny Jokes

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Corny jokes are are some of the best. Of course they are extremely cheesy. However, after you hear great corny jokes, you can’t wait to go and tell some of your friends. Even if just to see their cringy reaction to the corny jokes. With that in mind, check out below for the top 101 corny jokes.

#101 – 90. Corny Jokes

101. How do snails fight? They slug it out.

100. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships

99. How many lips does a flower have? Tu-lips.

98. What did the first plate say to the second plate? Dinner’s on me.

97. What do ants get when they do all their chores? An allow-ants.

96. What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper.

95. What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.

94. What did one egg say to the other? Eggs-cuse me, please.

93. What did the big bucket say to the smaller one? Lookin’ a little pail there.

92. What lies at the bottom of the sea shaking? A nervous wreck.

91. Why was the mermaid wearing seashells? She grew out of her B-shells

90. What do you do with a sick boat? Take is to the doc already.

#89 – 80. Corny Jokes

89. Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.

88. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality

87. I gave my friend an elephant to put in his room. He said, “Thanks.” I said, “Don’t mention it.”

86. Do you think glass coffins will be a success? Remains to be seen.

85. What do you call a snowman on a hot day? Puddle.

84. When is a car not a car? When it turns into a street.

83. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

82. People always tell me I’m condescending. (That means talking down to people.)

81. Have you heard about the corduroy pillow? No? Really? It’s making headlines!

80. What do you call a singing computer? Adele

#79 – 70. Corny Jokes

79. Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker? It was craving a well-balanced meal.

78. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

77. Why can’t ghosts have babies? Because they have a Halloweenie

76. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup

75. What do you call a group of unorganized cats? A Cat-astrophe

74. Did you hear about that wedding? It was in-tents.

73. Which plant rules the garden? The dande-lion.

72. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi

71. What disease do you get when you decorate for Christmas? Tinselitus

70. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

#69 – 60. Corny Jokes

69. How does a squid go into battle? Well armed

68. Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle? Because he’s always lion.

67. I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it!

66. How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

65. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck

64. What would bears be without bees? Ears.

63. How did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut.

62. How do billboards talk? Sign language.

61. What’s a firefly’s favorite game? Hide-and-glow-seek.

60. What do you call a bee that’s having a bad hair day? Frisbee.

#59 – 50. Corny Jokes

59. Why is corn such a good listener? Because it’s all ears.

58. What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only food that can make them cry? Throw a coconut at their face.

57. What do you call the Children of the Corn’s father? “Pop” corn

56. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the Fresh Prince

55. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain.

54. And what did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped his bum

53. What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin’ Catholic

52. What’s a pepper that won’t leave you alone? Jalapeno business

51. What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.

50. What do baby kangaroos wear when it’s cold out? Jumpsuits.

#49 – 40. Corny Jokes

49. I went to see the Liberty Bell recently. I don’t know why everyone makes such a big deal about it. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

48. What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? A Bagel

47. What’s the most famous creature in the ocean? The starfish.

46. What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste

45. What do you call a pooch living in Alaska? A chilly dog.

44. How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.

43. When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.

42. What do cows most like to read? Cattle-logs.

41. Why was the belt sent to jail? A. For holding up a pair of pants!

40. Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool? They kept dropping their trunks.

#39 – 30. Corny Jokes

39. What kind of music to chiropractors listen to? Mostly hip-pop.

38. What do you call birds that stick together? Vel-crows

37. What did the duck say to the bartender? Put it on my bill

36. What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale

35. What do you do with epileptic lettuce? Make a seizure salad.

34. Why did the farmer win an award? He was outstanding in his field

33. Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack

32. Who does a pharaoh talk to when he’s sad? His mummy, of course.

31. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.

30. What did the older chimney say to the younger one? But you’re way too young to smoke!

#29 – 20. Corny Jokes

29. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny

28. Q: What kind of exercise do lazy 
people do? A: Diddly-squats.

27. What did the rubber band factory worker say when he was fired? Oh, snap!

26. Why are frogs are so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.

25. Why don’t skeletons watch scary movies? They just don’t have the guts.

24. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For Drizzle

23. A burglar stole all the lamps in my house. I know I should be more upset, but I’m absolutely delighted.

22. What did the cop say to his stomach? Stop! I’ve got you under a vest!

21. What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I’m dressing.

20. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman? Snowballs

#19 – 10. Corny Jokes

19. What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta

18. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore

17. What do you do when you see a spaceman? Park your car, man.

16. How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool

15. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He could feel his presents.

14. How do you befriend a squirrel? Just act like a nut.

13. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

12. What happened when one cannibal arrived late to the dinner party? A. The others gave him the cold shoulder.

11. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left

#9 – 1. Corny Jokes

10. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An in-vest-igator

9. What do you call bees that produce milk? Boo-bees

8. What does the cobbler say when a cat wanders into his shop? Shoe!

7. Why was the poor guy selling yeast? To raise some dough.

6. I can’t stand Russian nesting dolls. They’re so full of themselves.

5. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor

4. Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed.

3. What do you call a man with no arms or legs wading in a pool? Bob.

2. Who do call when the ocean needs a little cleaning? A mermaid, of course.

1. It’s Jamaican hairstyle day at work tomorrow. I’m dreading it.

Ideas for the top 101 corny jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Reader’s Digest – Corny Joke^[2]Buzzfeed – 21 Painfully Corny Joke That Are So Bad They’re Actually Good^[3]Buzzfeed – 25 Jokes That Are So Corny And Stupid, They’re Actually Good^[4]Thought Catalog – 50 Short Corny Joke That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud^[5]Laff Gaff – The Best Really Corny Joke For Kids