Top 105 Music Puns and Jokes

105. Where did the music teacher leave her keys? In the piano.

104. What is a Jehovah’s Witness’ favorite band? The Doors.

103. Q: What do you call a guitar player that only knows two chords? A: A music critic.

102. What’s the first thing a musician says at work? “Would you like fries with that?”

101. Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players? A: It saves time in the long run.

100. How can you tell if a singer’s at your door? They can’t find the key and don’t know when to come in.

99. What’s an avocado’s favorite music? Guac ‘n’ roll.

98. What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off? Limp Bizkit.

97. How does a soprano sing a scale? Do, Re, Mi, Me, Me, Me, Me ME!

96. What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA.

95. What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument? A moo-sician.

94. Q: What is Beethoven doing now? A: De-composing

93. What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm? A tattoo.

92. Wanna hear a joke about a staccato? Never mind, it’s too short.

91. What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza? A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.

90. What is the musical part of a snake? The scales.

#89 – 80. Music Puns and Jokes

89. Q: Why didn’t Handel go shopping? A: Because he was Baroque.

88. Q: What’s the definition of a minor second interval? A: Two Soprano Sax players reading off the same part.

87. Q: Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? A: All they said was, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

86. A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum tsssh!

85. Q: What do clarinetists use for birth control? A: Their personalities.

84. What’s the difference between a conductor and God? God doesn’t think he’s a conductor.

83. How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?None. They can’t get up that high.

82. What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park? “Bach it up.”

81. Q: Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard? A: So they can park in the handicapped zones.

80. What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You can’t tuna fish.

#79 – 70. Music Puns and Jokes

79. What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music

78. Q: Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer? A: He was Haydn

77. Musicians? Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.

76. What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere? Litterachi.

75. Q:Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players? A:Terrorists have sympathizers

74. Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.

73. Q: How do you make a bandstand? A: Take away their chairs.

72. What’s the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline? You take your shoes off the jump on a trampoline.

71. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A-flat minor.

70. Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”. We’re a cover band.

#69 – 60. Music Puns and Jokes

69. A percussionist, tired from being ridiculed by other musicians, decides to change instruments. He walks into a music shop and says, “I’ll take that red trumpet over there, and that accordion.” After a second, the shop assistant says, “OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator stays.”

68. Q: How does a violist’s brain cell die? A: Alone.

67. Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor.

66. Q: What is the dynamic range of a bass trombone? A: On or off.

65. Q: how many drummers does it take to change a light buld? A: “oops, i broke it!”

64. What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend? Homeless.

63. Q: What’s the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist? A: A bad oboist can kill you.

62. Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”. We’re a cover band.

61. Q: Why do people play trombone? A: Because they can’t move their fingers and read music at the same time.

60. Q: What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit? A: “The Defendant”

#59 – 50. Music Puns and Jokes

59. There are so many jokes about this composer. I could make you a Liszt.

58. What’s the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.

57. A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar. I replied, “Is that a fret?”

56. Q: How do you fix a broken tuba? A: With a tuba glue.

55. How do you keep your violin from being stolen? Put it in a viola case.

54. Q: Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store? A: For the lute.

53. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor.

52. There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.

51. Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn’t even leave a note.

50. Which composer likes tea the most? Chai-kovsky.

#49 – 40. Music Puns and Jokes

49. Q: What’s the latest crime wave in New York City? A: Drive-by trombone solos.

48. What do you call a musician with problems? A trebled man.

47. Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV? Too much sax and violins.

46. What’s the difference between a viola and an onion? No one cries when you cut up a viola.

45. What’s the definition of perfect pitch? When you throw a banjo in the bin and it lands on an accordion.

44. Q: How do you make musicians complain? A: Pay them.

43. How many indie hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.

42. Q: What’s the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher? A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.

41. What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner? You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.

40. Q: What do you get when you play New Age music backwards? A: New Age music.

#39 – 30. Music Puns and Jokes

39. Q: What’s the difference between an opera singer and a pit bull? A: Lipstick.

38. What’s brown and sitting on a piano bench? Beethoven’s last movement.

37. My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.

36. C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar. The bartender shows them the door and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”

35. Q: Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV? A: Too much sax and violins.

34. A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar. I replied, “Is that a fret?”

33. Q: Why was the musician arrested? A: He was in treble

32. How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because noone ever watches the conductor!

31. Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.

30. Q: Why do bagpipe players walk while they play? A: To get away from the noise.

#29 – 20. Music Puns and Jokes

29. Q: What is another term for trombone? A: A wind driven, manually operated, pitch approximator.

28. What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

27. What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married? Feyonce.

26. Q: whats the differance between a pianist and god? A: God doesn’t think he’s a pianist

25. Q:How many Folk Singers does it take to change a light bulb? A:One to change it and 5 to sing about how good the old one was

24. Why can’t skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.

23. Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test? A: Saliva.

22. Q: How are trumpets like pirates? A: They both murder in the high C’s

21. How do you make a million dollars singing jazz? Start with two million.

20. Q: How do you get an oboist to play A flat? A: Take the batteries out of his electronic tuner.

#19 – 10. Music Puns and Jokes

19. How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.

18. Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music? Because she broke the record.

17. How are trumpets like pirates? They both murder in the high C’s.

16. What is Beethoven doing now? De-composing.

15. What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell.

14. What’s a composer’s favorite game to play? Haydn go seek.

13. What’s the difference between a chainsaw and a saxophone? You can tune a chainsaw.

12. Why was Mozart a child prodigy? All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.

11. What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on? He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.

10. What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music? Swing.

#9 – 1. Music Puns and Jokes

9. I’m so sick of people thinking they can just waltz into my room when I’m listening to music in 4/4.

8. Q: What will you never say about a banjo player? A: “That’s the banjo player’s Porsche.”

7. Q: What’s the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet? A: About three decibels.

6. How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog? The dog knows when to stop scratching.

5. What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

4. Why did the skeleton want to join band? He wanted a trom-bone!

3. Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A: A-flat minor

2. Why didn’t the bouncer let the quavers into the bar? Because they were slurring.

1. How do you get a trombonist off your doorstep? Pay them for the pizza.

Ideas for the top 105 music puns and jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Reader’s Digest – Music Pun^[2]Thought Catalog – 60 Corny Music Pun That Are Completely Hilarious^[3]Osborn Music – Musician Jokes