Top 76 Easter Jokes

Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

If you want to treat your kids and friends this Easter with more than just candy, consider telling them a few good Easter jokes. They don’t just only love chocolate and candy, they also love to laugh. Check out below for the top 76 Easter jokes.

#76 – 70. Easter Jokes

76. What did the rabbit say to the carrot? A. It’s been nice gnawing you!

75. Why doesn’t the Easter Bunny make noise when he has sex? Because he has cotton balls.

74. How long does the Easter Bunny like to party? Around the cluck!

73. How should you send a letter to the Easter Bunny? By hare mail!

72. What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket? Two points, just like anyone else.

71. What day does an Easter egg hate the most? Fry-days.

70. How did the Easter Bunny rate the Easter parade? A. He said it was eggs-cellent!

#69 – 60. Easter Jokes

69. I’m combining Easter and April Fool’s day this year…I’m sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven’t hidden.

68. We celebrate Jesus brutally dying on the cross by getting a giant bunny rabbit to hide chocolate eggs. I can’t help but feel there is a massive gap in information somewhere.

67. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny!

66. How can you find the Easter bunny? Eggs (x) marks the spot.

65. Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the innkeeper three nails and says, “Can you put me up for the night?”

64. I love Jesus. He’s born, I get presents. He dies, I get chocolate.

63. Why did the rabbit cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off.

62. What do you get when you cross a rabbits foot with poison ivy? A rash of good luck.

61. Why is Easter an Alzheimer patient’s favorite holiday? They get to hide their own eggs.

60. Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs? He doesn’t want anyone to know he’s been screwing the chickens!

#59 – 50. Easter Jokes

59. Q: What the Easter Bunny’s favorite dance move? A: The bunny hop.

58. “Why are you studying your Easter candy?” “I’m trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!”

57. What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much? He cracked up.

56. Q: What’s big and purple and hugs your Easter basket? A: The Easter Barney

55. Q: What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general? A: Napoleon Bunnyparte!

54. What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards? A receding hareline.

53. Q: Why does Peter Cottontail go hopping down the bunny trail? A: Because he’s too young to drive.

52. I feel sorry for Jesus. He spent most of his life trying to do good deeds, yet more people celebrate his death than Hitler’s.

51. How do bunnies stay healthy? Eggercise

50. Where does the easter bunny eat breakfast? at Ihop

#49 – 40. Easter Jokes

49. How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? They’re both famous for stuffing baskets!

48. What do you call a bunny with a dictionary in his pants? A smarty pants.

47. Q: What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? A: They lived hoppily ever after

46. Q: What do you call an egg from outer space? A: An “Egg-stra terrestial”

45. What’s red and blue and sogs up your Easter basket? Coloured scrambled eggs!

44. What do you call a sleepy Easter egg? Egg-zosted!

43. What’s the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? You only need one nail to hang up the picture of Jesus.

42. What do you call a mischievous egg? A practical yolker

41. Nothing says “Enjoy your chocolate Easter eggs children” like a bleeding, half-naked Jew nailed to a piece of wood.

40. Q: What do you call a mischievous egg? A: A practical yolker

#39 – 30. Easter Jokes

39. A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday. After the egg hunt, he sneaks into the chicken coop and replaces every white egg with a brightly colored one. Minutes later, the rooster walks in. He spots the colored eggs, then storms out and beats up the peacock.

38. Why did the Easter egg hide? He was a little chicken!

37. What would you call the Easter Bunny if he married a chicken? The very first rabbit to lay an egg!

36. Why couldn’t the Easter egg family watch T.V.? Because their cable was scrambled.

35. Q: What is Easter Bunny’s favorite kind of music? A: Hip-hop, of course!

34. Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? He was having a bad hare day!

33. How does the Easter Bunny stay fit? A. Eggs-ercise and hare-robics!

32. I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg so I said to him, “I bet I know what your favorite Christian festival is.” He said, “Have to love Easter, baby.”

31. What happened to the Easter Bunny when he misbehaved at school? He was eggspelled!

30. What did the Easter Egg say to the boiling water? It’s going to take awhile to get me hard

#29 – 20. Easter Jokes

29. What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? A hot cross bunny

28. Q: What sport are the eggs good at? A: Running

27. Why won’t Easter eggs go out at night? They don’t want to get “beat up”.

26. What did Jesus say to his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross? “Don’t touch my Easter eggs, I’ll be back on Monday.”

25. Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs? The rest are hunt’n peckers.

24. Did you hear about the lady whose house was infested with Easter eggs? She had to call an eggs-terminator!

23. Q: Why are bunnies the luckiest animals? A: Because they each have four rabbits feet.

22. What happened when the Easter Bunny caught his head in the fan? It took ears off his life!

21. Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road? A. Because the chicken had his Easter eggs!

20. Why wouldn’t you want to be an Easter egg? You only get laid once.

#19 – 10. Easter Jokes

19. What kind of bunny can’t hop? A chocolate one!

18. How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself? With a hare dryer!

17. Q: What is the Easter Bunny’s favourite sport? A: Basket-ball

16. Why was the little girl sad after the race? Because an egg beater!

15. What do you get when you find a rabbit with no hair? A hairless hare!

14. Q: What did one Easter egg say to the other? A: Heard any good yolks today?

13. I think it’s great that the supermarkets are doing ‘Buy One Get One Free’ on Easter eggs now. It’s brilliant, because if you’re in a relationship, you can get one each for you and your partner, and if you’re a single woman, you can have both and try to eat away the loneliness.

12. Why do we paint Easter eggs? Because it’s easier than trying to wallpaper them!

11. Where does the Easter Bunny get his eggs? From Eggplants.

10. How does the Easter Bunny travel? A. By hare-plane!

#9 – 1. Easter Jokes

9. What do you call Easter when you are hopping around? Hoppy Easter!

8. Why was the rabbit rubbing his head? Because he had a eggache! (headache)

7. Q: What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with Chinese food? A: Hop suey

6. How do you make Easter easier? Replace the t with an i.

5. Why are people always tired in April? Because they just finished a march

4. Whenever I’m in doubt, I ask myself, “What would Jesus do?” Then I remember Jesus got crucified, so his decision making skills obviously weren’t brilliant.

3. Q: Where did the Easter Bunny go to school? A: John Hop-kins University

2. I’ve just seen someone’s gone to the trouble of putting up a sign outside a restaurant saying “Happy Easter” but they’ve left the ‘s’ out.

1. How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart? Because he’s an egghead.

Ideas for the top 76 Easter jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Jokes 4 Us – Easter One-Liners Jokes^[2]kidspot – Jokes for kids: Easter^[3]Reader’s Digest – Easter Joke^[4]Quick, Funny Jokes – Easter Joke^[5]LaffGaff – Funny Easter Joke For Adults