Top 101 Funny Duck Jokes

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Ready to quack up with some funny jokes. Check out the top 101 funny duck jokes.

#101 – 90. Funny Duck Jokes

101. Q: What does a duck do first when making an omelette? A: He quacks some eggs.

100. Q: Why did the duck go to the bank? A: Because he wanted to get a new bill.

99. Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks? A: Foul (fowl) weather.

98. Q: What do you call a duck on drugs? A: a quackhead

97. Q: What did the duck carry his schoolbooks in? A: His Quackpack

96. Q: What did the detective duck say to his partner? A: I hope we Quack this case.

95. Q: What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes? A: “I hope I didn’t quack any!”

94. Q: What do you get when you put four ducks in a box? A: A box of quackers!

93. Q: Who stole the soap? A: The robber ducky!

92. Q: How do you make a duck sing soul music? A: Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers

91. Q: What was the goal of the detective duck? A: To quack the case

90. Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem? He was a quackhead.

#89 – 80. Funny Duck Jokes

89. Q: Why did the duck detective get the key to the city? A: Because he quacked the case!

88. Q: Why did the duck cross the park?  A: To get to the other slide.

87. What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck? A duck-filled-fatty-pus

86. Did You Hear About The Duck Who Wouldn’t Pass Environmental Legislation? He was a lame duck.

85. Q: What’s another name for a clever duck? A: A wise quacker.

84. Q: Which animal grows down? A: A duck

83. Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck? Because he wouldn’t quit quackin’ jokes!

82. What Did Detective Duck Say To His Partner? “Let’s quack this case!”

81. Q: What says “Quick, Quick!”? A: A duck with the hiccups

80. Q: Why was the duck put into the basketball game? A: To make a fowl shot!

#79 – 70. Funny Duck Jokes

79. Q: Why was the teacher annoyed with the duck? A: Because he wouldn’t quit quackin’ jokes!

78. Q: Where did the duck go when he was sick? A: To the Ducktor

77. Q: Did you hear about the prostitute that thought she was a duck? A: She charged 7 dollars a quack.

76. Q: Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem? A: He was a quackhead.

75. Q: What do you call a duck that steals? A: A robber ducky.

74. What Do Ducks Have With Soup? Quackers

73. Q: Where did the duck lose his feathers? A: Down town.

72. What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came? Put it on my bill!

71. What Did The Duck Say When He Dropped The Dishes? “I hope I didn’t quack any!”

70. What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow? Quakers and milk.

#69 – 60. Funny Duck Jokes

69. Q: Why did the duck cross the road? A: Because he was jealous of the chicken.

68. Q: What did the blonde replace her rooster with a duck?

67. Q: What do ducks watch on TV? A: Duck-umentaries!

66. Q: Why don’t ducks fly upside down? A: Because they don’t want to QUACK up.

65. What Do Ducks Watch On TV? Duck-umentaries!

64. Q: What has webbed feet and fangs? A: Count Duckula

63. Q: What did a duck say to the comedian? A: You quack me up!

62. Q: Why did the duck sleep under the car? A: Because he wanted to wake up oily.

61. What Do Ducks Get After They Eat? The bill!

60. Q: Did you hear about the duck who thought he was a squirrel? A: It was one tough nut to quack.

#59 – 50. Funny Duck Jokes

59. Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with fireworks? A: A firequacker!

58. Q: What do ducks have with soup? A: Quackers!

57. Q: What time does a duck wake up? A: At the quack of dawn!

56. Q: Who stole the soap? A: The robber ducky

55. Q: What did Detective Duck say to his partner? A: “Let’s quack this case!”

54. What Do You Call A Duck That Steals? A robber ducky.

53. At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up? At the quack of dawn.

52. Q: Who stole the soap? A: The robber ducky!

51. Q: What do ducks get after they eat? A: A bill!

50. Q: Where did the duck go when he was sick? A: To the ducktor!

#49 – 40. Funny Duck Jokes

49. Q: What did the detective duck say to his partner? A: I hope we Quack this case.

48. Q: What time does a duck wake up? A: At the quack of dawn!

47. Q: What is a chick’s favorite drink? A: Peepsi!

46. Q: What do you call a duck with fangs? A: Count Duckula!

45. What language do geese speak? Porchageese

44. How Do Ducks Talk? They don’t. You quack.

43. Q: Why did the duck tell you a joke? A: Because he wanted to QUACK you up!

42. Q: Why do ducks watch the news? A: For the feather forecast!

41. Q: Which side of a duck has the prettiest feathers? A: The outside!

40. Q: What did the drug diller say to the duck? A: Are you on quack?

#39 – 30. Funny Duck Jokes

39. Q: How do you get down off a horse? A: You don’t get down off a horse… you get down off a duck.

38. Q: What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck? A: A firequacker!

37. Q: Why does a duck say quack? A: Because it can’t say moo.

36. Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was A Squirrel? It was one tough nut to quack.

35. Q: What do you call a crate full of ducks? A: A box of quackers!

34. Q: Why did the duck go to the supermarket? A: To get some Quackers.

33. Where Did The Duck Go When He Was Sick? To the ducktor!

32. Q: What do you get when a duck bends over? A: It’s Buttquack

31. Q: What do you get when you cross a duck with a firework? A: A firequacker.

30. Q: What did the duck eat for snack? A: Salted Quackers!

#29 – 20. Funny Duck Jokes

29. Q: What do you call a crate full of ducks? A: A box of quackers!

28. Q: What do get if you cross a duck and Santa? A: A Christmas Quacker.

27. Q: What do ducks get after they eat? A: A bill!

26. Q: What do you call a bird that can fix anything? A: Duck Tape.

25. Q: What do you call a box of ducks? A: A box of Quackers.

24. Q: Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly? A: Because they would quack up!

23. Q: What happens when Donald Duck flies upside down? A: He quacks up!

22. Q: Why did the duck cross the road? A: Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.

21. Q: What do you call two ducks and a cow? A:  Quackers and Milk.

20. Q: What’s another name for a clever duck?  A: A wise quacker!

#19 – 10. Funny Duck Jokes

19. Q: What did the duck say to the banker? A: My bill is bigger than yours.

18. Q: Why are ducks bad drivers? A: Their windshields are qwacked.

17. Q: Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation? A: He was a lame duck.

16. Q: What’s a Duckworth? A: I don’t know, what does a Henweigh?

15. Q: At what time does a duck wake up? A: At the quack of dawn.

14. Q: What does a duck get after he eats? A: A bill

13. Q: What did the duck say when the waitress came? A: Put it on my bill!

12. Q: What do you call a cat that swallows a duck? A: A duck-filled-fatty-pus

11. Why Are Ducks Bad Drivers? Their windshields are qwacked.

10. Q: Why did the duck fly south for the winter? A: Because it was too far to walk.

#9 – 1. Funny Duck Jokes

9. Q: What happens when a duck flies upside down? A: It quacks up

8. Q: What do ducks get after they eat? A: A bill!

7. Q: What did the duck do after he read all these jokes? A: He quacked up!

6. What Do You Call A Clever Duck? A wise quacker

5. Q: Where did the duck go when he was sick? A: To the Ducktor

4. Q: What can swans do, that ducks can’t do but lawyers should do? A: Shove their bills up their arses

3. Q: How do ducks talk? A: They don’t You Quack.

2. Q: What do you call a duck with fangs? A: Count Duckula

1. Q: What has fangs and webbed feet? A: Count Duckula

Ideas for the top 101 funny duck jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Ducksters – Duck Joke^[2]UniJokes – Duck Joke^[3]Ranker – The Best Duck Joke^[4]Lemon the Duck – Duck Joke^[5]Super Duck – Duck Joke