Top 101 Geography Jokes

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You might not have liked geography when learning about it in school. Perhaps you can’t even point out France on the map! However, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to like jokes about geography. With that in mind, check out the top 101 geography jokes.

#101 – 90. Geography Jokes

101. Q: What’s big, white, furry and always points North? A: a Polar Bearing.

100. Q: Why did the dot go to college? A: Because it wanted to be a graduated symbol.

99. What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?… A high-pot-in-use.

98. “Old geographers never die, they just become legends.”

97. Q: What stays in the corner, but travels around the world? A: A stamp!

96. Q: Why don’t cartography students wear high heels? A: They prefer map flats.

95. Q: What did Dela ware to the Iditarod? A: I don’t know but alaska?

94. Q: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? A: Idaho… Alaska!

93. Q:Where is it always 90 degrees, but never hot? A:The North and South Poles.

92. Q: How can you tell which compasses and scales are intelligent? A: Because they’re all graduated.

91. Q:What do an astrologist and a cartographer have in common? A:They both specialise in projections.

90. Q: What do Clint Eastwood and a map key have in common? A: Both are legends.

#89 – 80. Geography Jokes

89. Q:Where do all the pencils come from? A:Pennsylvania.

88. Q: Why do paper maps never win poker tournaments? A. Because they always fold.

87. Q:What did the sea say to the shore? A:Nothing, it just waved!

86. Q: Why aren’t there any Wal Marts in Afghanistan? A: Because there’s a Target on every corner.

85. Q: Why don’t you see penguins in Great Britain? A: Because they’re afraid of Wales.

84. Q: What does a psychic and a cartographer have in common? A: They both specialize in projections.

83. Q: What rock group has four men that don’t sing? A: Mount Rushmore!

82. Q: What’s in the middle of Paris? A: The letter R.

81. Q: What’s a pirate favorite country? A: AAARRRGHentina!

80. Q:Why is it easy to get into Florida? A:Because there are so many keys.

#79 – 70. Geography Jokes

79. Q: Who was Mississippi married too? A: Mister Sippi.

78. What did the puny rock say to the big muscle rock?… I wish I were boulder!

77. Q: What is the coldest country in the world? A: Chile.

76. Q: What did Delaware? A: Her New Jersey!

75. Q:What do you call the little rivers that flow into the Nile? A:Juveniles

74. Q: Why does the Yeti know all the map symbols? A: Because he’s a legend.

73. Q: What is the capital of Washington? A: The W!

72. Q:Why can fish measure distances so well? A:Because they have their own scales.

71. Q: What did Delaware? A: A New Jersey.

70. Q: How did the geography student drown? A: His grades were below C-level

#69 – 60. Geography Jokes

69. Q: Teacher: Where is the English Channel? A: Student: I don’t know, my TV doesn’t pick it up!

68. Q: Why was the map gesturing in a wild way? A: It was an animated map.

67. If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska!

66. Q: What is a nautical chart’s best pitch? A: The depth curve.

65. Q: What kind of contours can see in the dark? A: Illuminated contours.

64. Q:What other place is mentioned in this joke? A:The Black Sea.

63. Q:How can you tell that compasses and scales are intelligent? A:Because they’re all graduated.

62. Q: What always sits in the corner but can move all round the world? A: A stamp.

61. Q: In which California city can you find the best dancing? A: San Frandisco.

60. Q:What do penguins wear on their heads? A:Ice caps.

#59 – 50. Geography Jokes

59. Q: What are the Great Plains? A: The 747, Concorde and F-16!

58. Q: What is the smartest state? A: Alabama, it has four A’s and one B.

57. Q: What is in the center of America? A: The letter R.

56. What is smarter, longitude or latitude?…Longitude, because it has 360 degrees.

55. Q: What is the capital of Alaska? A: Come on, Juneau this one!

54. Q: If you put a yellow rock in the Red Sea, what will happen? A: It will get wet!

53. Q: What is the smallest state? A: Mini-Sota (Minnesota).

52. Q: Why is it easy to get into Florida? A: Because there are so many keys.

51. Q: What do you call the little rivers that flow into the Nile? A: Juveniles.

50. A giant destroyed 3 countries the other day. He picked up Turkey dipped it in Greece and then fried it in Japan.

#49 – 40. Geography Jokes

49. Q: What do you call the little rivers that flow into the Nile? A: Juveniles

48. Q:What do geographers grow in their gardens? A:Compass roses.

47. Q: What is the most expensive city to visit in Spain? A: Costa Fortune.

46. Q: What is round at each end and high in the middle? A: Ohio.

45. Q:What country does a pirate love to sail his ship to? A:AARRRGHentina!

44. Q:What do you get if you cross a farm animal with a map maker? A:A cow-tographer!

43. Q: Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea? A: Student: I didn’t even know it was sick!

42. Q: What is round at each end and high in the middle? A: Ohio.

41. Q: What kind of maps do spiders make? A: Web-based maps.

40. Q: Where to pencils come from? A: Pennsylvania!

#39 – 30. Geography Jokes

39. Q: What is the fastest country in the world? A: Rush-a!

38. What always sits in the corner but can move all round the world?… A stamp.

37. Q:What sort of pudding roams wild in the Arctic circle? A:Moose.

36. Q: What has 5 eyes and is lying on the water?  A: The Mississippi River

35. Q: What is smarter, longitude or latitude? A: Longitude, because it has 360 degrees

34. Q: What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz? A: A con-tour map.

33. “Why do paper maps never win poker tournaments?” “Because they always fold.”

32. Q: Where do crayons go on vacation? A: Color-ado!

31. Q: Why did the dot go to college? A: To become a graduated symbol.

30. Q:What’s big, white, furry and always points North? A:A Polar Bearing.

#29 – 20. Geography Jokes

29. Q:What do fish and maps have in common? A:They both have scales!

28. Q:Why didn’t the map grids go to the punk disco? A:Because they were all squares.

27. Q:Where do fish keep their money? A:In riverbanks.

26. “Where is it 90 degrees, but it is never hot?” “The North and the South pole.”

25. Q: Which city has a lot of sand? A: Sand Francisco.

24. Q:Which has the higher IQ, latitude or longitude? A:Longitude; it’s got 360 degrees!

23. Q: What city cheats at exams? A: Peking!

22. Q:Why did the sophomore refuse to date the geology assistant? A:Because he was such a gneiss guy, and she found him boring.

21. Q: Do you want to eat your food here? A: No I’ll take it Togo (to go).

20. Q:What did Delaware? A:A New Jersey.

#19 – 10. Geography Jokes

19. Q: Where do the pianists go for vacation? A: Florida Keys

18. How did Christopher Columbus finance his way to the new land?… With his Discover card!

17. Q:Why does the Bogie Man know all the map symbols? A:Because he’s a legend.

16. Where did Avogadro send his CARE packages?… Moleasia

15. Q: What do maps and fish have in common? A: Both have scales.

14. What country does a pirate love to sail his ship to?… AARRRGHentina!

13. Q:What place is mentioned in this joke? A:The Red Sea.

12. Q:Why were the rocks excited to go to the birthday bash? A:They knew they’d have a SMASHING good time.

11. What do John Wayne and a map key have in common?… Both are legends.

10. Q: What’s big, furry, white and always points North? A: A Polar Bearing.

#9 – 1. Geography Jokes

9. Q: What do you call a country that looks like one thigh? A: THIGHwan(taiwan)

8. Q:What rocks do young geologists play with? A:Marbles.

7. “How did the geography student drown?” “His grades were below C-level.”

6. Q: What do you call a stoners wife? A: Mississippi

5. Q: Where do fish keep their money? A: In riverbanks.

4. Q: Why didn’t true north date magnetic north? A: She didn’t like his bearing.

3. Q:What is the fastest country in the world? A:Russia

2. Q: What’s in the middle of India? A: The letter D.

1. Q: What U.S. state is best at producing cheese? A: Swiss-consin.

Ideas for the top 101 geography jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Ducksters – Geography Joke^[2]Jokes 4 Us – Geography Joke^[3]Fun Kids Jokes – Geography Joke^[4]My Town Tutors – Geography Jokes: Top Geography Joke^[5]The Geography Site – The Geography Joke Page^[6]Puzzle Prime – Geography Joke