Top 101 Word Play Jokes

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Laughing is the greatest therapy. With that in mind, check out the top 101 word play jokes.

#101 – 90. Word Play Jokes

101. What cheese would you use to lure a bear out of a cave? Camembert.

100. Have you ever tried sex while camping? It’s in tents.

99. Do you know the soul singer Marvin Gaye used to keep a sheep in a vineyard? He’d herd it through the grapevine!

98. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? There’s no point.

97. What does a grape say after it’s stepped on? Nothing. It just lets out a little wine!

96. My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

95. Instead of “the John,” I call my toilet “the Jim.” That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

94. This gravity joke is getting a bit old, but I fall for it every time.

93. Jokes about teachers on summer break are not funny. They’re just not working!

92. How can you get four suits for a dollar? Buy a deck of cards.

91. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A Juan on Juan.

90. What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest!

#89 – 80. Word Play Jokes

89. I’ve been having insomnia, so I’ve started sleeping in our fireplace. Now I sleep like a log!

88. My cousin, a magician, decided to incorporate the use of trapdoors in his shows. But I think it’s just a stage he’s going through.

87. Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert? Because they’re always stuffed!

86. Why are barns so noisy? Because all the cows have horns.

85. Why did the balloon go near the needle? He wanted to be a pop star.

84. A Spanish magician has a grand magical show and at the end he says he will disappear after counting to three. He starts to count, “Un, dos…” Kazaam! He vanished without a tres.

83. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything.

82. You’re becoming a vegetarian? I think that’s a big missed steak!

81. Whenever I undress in the bathroom, my shower gets turned on.

80. What happens when a frog’s car breaks down? It gets toad away.

#79 – 70. Word Play Jokes

79. What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.

78. Apparently taking a day off is not something you should do when you work for a calendar company.

77. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef but nobody can pee soup!

76. How do trees get online? They log in.

75. A patient sobs to his doctor: “I feel like a pair of curtains!” – Doctor: “Well pull yourself together man!”

74. I bought an Impressionist painting, but my cat scratched it. So I’m now selling it on, as a clawed Monet!

73. I Googled “how to start a wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

72. Which country’s capital is the fastest growing? – Answer: Ireland’s. – Every year it’s Dublin.

71. Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.

70. I got my girlfriend a “Get better soon” card. She’s not ill or anything, but she could definitely get better.

#69 – 60. Word Play Jokes

69. I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there!

68. What did the janitor yell after he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”

67. Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.

66. Daughter: Mom, can I get a cat or a dog at Christmas, please?“   Mom: No honey, you will be getting turkey, like every Christmas!“

65. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he had a great fall.

64. I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger…And then it hit me.

63. What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck? “You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything.”

62. Did you hear about the guy who broke his left arm and leg? He’s all right now!

61. How do fish get high? Seaweed.

60. I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party. But my plans were foiled!

#59 – 50. Word Play Jokes

59. A guy was admitted to hospital with 8 plastic horses in his stomach. His condition is now stable.

58. Never date cross eyed people. They might be seeing somebody on the side!

57. If you spent your day in a well, can you say your day was well-spent?

56. Why was the chef arrested? – He was beating eggs every day.

55. I got very lonely lately, so I bought some shares. – It’s much nicer having some company.

54. I call toilets “the Jim” instead of “the John.” So I can tell people, “I visit the Jim several times a day!”

53. Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field!

52. Money doesn’t grow on trees, right? So why does every bank have so many branches?

51. Why don’t teddy bears ever order dessert. Because they’re always stuffed.

50. People wonder why I call my toilet “the Jim” instead of “the John.” I do it so I can say “I go to the Jim first thing every morning.”

#49 – 40. Word Play Jokes

49. What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!

48. What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it? A waist of time.

47. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

46. What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

45. Somebody stole all my lamps. I couldn’t be more delighted!

44. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it? An envelope!

43. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police better be on the lookout for two hardened criminals.

42. 37 consonants, 25 vowels, a question mark, and a comma went to court. They will be sentenced next Friday!

41. What do computers snack on? Microchips.

40. What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it? A waist of time!

#39 – 30. Word Play Jokes

39. Three guys walk into a bar. They all said, ouch!

38. What’s the tallest building in the world? The library, cause it has the most stories.

37. How come oysters never donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.

36. I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

35. If April showers bring May flowers, what comes next in June? Pilgrims.

34. How can you get four suits for a dollar? Buy a deck of cards!

33. Why did the pig leave the party early? Because everyone thought he was a boar.

32. Two underpants meet for a beer. – “Why are you so brown?” asks one. – “Don’t ask. It was a really crappy week.”

31. A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke. Thank goodness it was a soft drink.

30. What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large.

#29 – 20. Word Play Jokes

29. What’s so great about being a hitman? They all kill it.

28. A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, “Doctor, I believe I’m a deck of cards!” The doctor calmly replies, “Go sit in the waiting room, please, I’ll be dealing with you later.”

27. A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?”

26. My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving!

25. Money doesn’t grow on trees, right? So why does every bank have so many branches?

24. I dig, you dig, she dig, we dig, you dig. The poem may not be beautiful, but it’s certainly very deep!

23. Members of the archery club sometime meet at the cheese shop. Just to shoot the Bries!

22. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You’re too young to smoke.

21. An English teacher asked a student to name two pronouns. The student answered, “Who, me?”

20. Why did the pig leave the party early? Because everyone thought he was a boar!

#19 – 10. Word Play Jokes

19. I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness. It came out of the green!

18. I’d love to know how the Earth rotates. It would totally make my day!

17. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Everything’s fine. He woke up.

16. When you get depressed in the middle of winter, just chuck some butter from your window. You’ll see a butterfly!

15. What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? Wipes his ass.

14. Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross. But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer!

13. What does a grape say after it’s stepped on? Nothing. It just lets out a little wine.

12. I went to the bank the other day and asked the teller to check my balance. The bitch pushed me, but I couldn’t really blame her.

11. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Everything’s fine. He woke up. But, according to your kid, they pay attention in school!

10. I once worked in a bank…But then I lost interest!

#9 – 1. Word Play Jokes

9. Did you hear about the guy who broke both his left arm and left leg? He’s all right now.

8. Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.

7. I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party but I guess my plans were foiled.

6. What car does Jesus drive? A Christler.

5. What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables? “You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything!”

4. My socks got really holy. I can only wear them to church.

3. What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!

2. I read a book about World War II that was only four pages long. It was Abridged Too Far!

1.What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, “Spit out your gum,” and the other says, “Choo choo choo!”

Ideas for the top 101 word play jokes were taken from the following sources. ^[1]short funny – Best Puns^[2]Thought Catalog – 40 Dumb Jokes Based On Smart Wordplay That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud^[3]Best Life – 40 Dumb Wordplay Joke That Will Crack You Up^[4]Laugh Factory – WORD PLAY JOKES^[5]NeoGAF – Word play jokes – let’s tell some!