Top 20 Garlic Jokes

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Garlic can make your breath stink, but these jokes don’t. With that in mind, check out the top 20 garlic jokes.

#20 – 10. Garlic Jokes

20. What does Doctor Who eat with his pizza? Dalek bread.

19. How many vampires showed up to the garlic eating competition? I don’t know, it was countless…

18. Q: Have you heard of the garlic diet? A: You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!

17. Dracula collapsed after eating some garlic in a salad. Another victim of buffet, the vampire slayer.

16. Q: What kind of socks do you need to plant garlic? A: Garden hose!

15. How do you kill a gluten free Vampire? Garlic bread

14. How do you make garlic toast? Lift your glass and talk about the wonderful things it has done.

13. What does an Irishman get after eating Italian lasagna? Gaelic breath!

12. Did you hear the one about the dog who ate a bunch of garlic? His bark was worse than his bite.

11. What does garlic do when it gets hot? It takes its cloves off.

10. I’ve started using garlic in my magic act. I start by crushing it, adding some basil and pine nuts and then I blend them with some parmesan and olive oil and, hey, pesto!

#9 – 1. Garlic Jokes

9. What do you call someone who has been raised by garlic? Garlic bred

8. I was arguing with a friend in Pizza Hut the other day when my best mate came over, grabbed the garlic bread and coleslaw from our table and ran off. I wish he would stop taking sides.

7. Q: Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? A: The Salad Bar!

6. Where does garlic go for a drink? The salad bar.

5. Why was the used garlic naked? Because it had no cloves left.

4. Q: What do cloves use for money? A: Garlic “Bread.”

3. How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate garlic bread long before it was cool.

2. I know someone who has a dog that keeps eating garlic. His bark is worse than his bite.

1. What did the garlic say to the vampire? Wanna pizza of me? You coward!

Ideas for the top 20 garlic jokes come from the following sources.^[1]Puns and One liners – garlic joke^[2]joke4us – garlic joke^[3]food jokes – Funny garlic joke