Top 32 Samurai Jokes

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Samurais are known as the premier warrior from ancient Japan. However, did you know that they could be funny? With that in mind, check out the top 32 samurai jokes.

#32 – 30. Samurai Jokes

32. I just finished reading a scholarly book that exploring the African American experience in samurai culture I highly recommend it. It’s called, “Ninja, Please”

31. How did the Samurai defeat the enemy General? He hit him with “Ja-Pan”

30. What do you call a shorter samurai? A summarai…

#29 – 29. Samurai Jokes

29. What do you call a samurai who lives at the top of a mountain? Snoshu

28. What do you call a masterless, Italian Samurai? Mac: a Ronin

27. Having lost his blade, is an honorable Samurai able to defeat an army of foes? Shuriken.

26. How does the non-binary samurai kill people? They/Them

25. Did you know about that samurai who committed harakiri? He had no guts…

24. How you make samurai run away? You sho gun

23. How do non-binary samurai kill people? They/them.

22. If a Samurai has second thoughts while performing seppuku…Is he having a mid-knife crisis?

21. (real news) In Virginia, a man stole a samurai sword from a store by hiding it in his pants. He later denied having the sword, telling police he *was* just glad to see them.

20. Samurai wielding sword: now we fight to the death **Me, nervously clicking pen:** t-they better be right about this

#19 – 10. Samurai Jokes

19. A ninja is getting ready to fight a samurai The ninjas friend asks him “do you really think you can kill him without a sword?” “Sure-i-can”

18. What did the neckbeard name his samurai sword? M’Bladey

17. What do you call a group of sky diving samurai warriors? Ninjas With Altitude

16. Why samurai women menapause in their teens? Because there is no honor in bloodshed.

15. Why did the samurai lose the duel at high noon? Because he brought a sword to a sho-gun fight.

14. Did you hear about that dyslexic Japanese samurai? He was so dishonored, he committed Sudoku.

13. I realized placing a long umbrella on my back does not make me like a ninja samurai…But more like a Teletubbies.

12. What does a samurai do when he fails a math class? He commits Sudoku.

11. A samurai’s wife asks him to go down on her He responded it’s Bushydo

10. What do you call it when one owl samurai wins a fight with another owl samurai? A hoot and a half!

#9 – 1. Samurai Jokes

9. What do you get when a samurai crosses swords with a Roman dictator? A Caesar salad.

8. How does a non-binary samurai kill people? They/them (They slash them)

7. What happens when two Samurai got into and argument It might take a while but they will sword things out eventually.

6. Where do you find a Samurai who would give his life for you? on Oni Fans

5. Why are Samurai so easy to kill? There are only chinks in the armor

4. The fashion of the present draws from the past…Jesus slippers and Samurai top knots

3. Why did the bride’s best friend become a Samurai…because she was made of honor.

2. Which is the music instrument that Samurai Jack despises the most? The Akustic Guitar.

1. Why did the female samurai attend the wedding? Because she was made of honor

Ideas for the top 32 samurai jokes come from the following sources.^[1]upjoke – Samurai joke^[2]jokojokes – THE BEST 35 SAMURAI JOKE^[3]punstoppable – Samurai puns