Top 35 Prison Jokes

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Going to prison is not cool or fun. However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t laugh about it. With that in mind, check out the top 35 prison jokes.

#35 – 30. Prison Jokes

35. What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mug shot? A cellfie.

34. Why do prisoners have PTSD? Cell Shock.

33. How many prison guards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just beat the room for being black.

32. Why are inmates so angry all the time? Cause they have bad cell service.

31. Why did the credit card go to jail? It was guilty as charged.

30. What do you give prisoners for dessert? Jaily-Beans.

#29 – 20. Prison Jokes

29. What’s an inmates favorite place to hangout? At the bars

28. Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to… unless your in prison.

27. What distinction does OJ hold in jail? He’s the first inmate with a retired number.

26. What’s an inmates favorite fishing equipment? Jail bait

25. Why was the parrot in prison? Because it was a jail-bird.

24. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.

23. What do you call a famous inmate? A cellebrity

22. Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

21. Police Officer: “How high are you?” Pothead: “No officer, it’s “Hi, How are you?”

20. What do you call a clairvoyant midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.

#19 – 10. Prison Jokes

19. Q: Why should you be more afraid of a white guy in jail than a black guy? A: You know the white guy actually committed the crime.

18. Why won’t prison life be much different from playing for the Bills? OJ will still have big guys opening holes for him.

17. Why is Facebook like jail? You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you really don’t know.

16. What’s an prisoners favorite battery? Duracell

15. The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

14. How do people stop being crooks? They straighen themselves out!

13. How do you know if a prison guard is gay? The smell of his mustache.

12. What’s a prisoners favorite building materials? Steal n cement

11. Why did the belt get arrested? Because he held up a pair of pants.

10. Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

#9 – 1. Prison Jokes

9. Why don’t black people pay rent? Because jail is free.

8. Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve. Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten.

7. Why can’t inmates read a clock? Cause its hard time

6. After my wife died, I couldn’t even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I’m out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!

5. What’s an inmates favorite food? Cellery

4. A prisoner was released from jail, he shouted “Yay I’m free I’m free!” The little boy yelled “So what I’m 4 I’m 4!”

3. Where can you find a bunch of clowns who deserve to be in jail? Silly Con Valley.

2. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.

1.Who never minds being interrupted in the middle of a sentence? A convict.

Ideas for the top 35 prison jokes come from the following sources.^[1]SuperJokes – Prison Joke^[2]Joke4Us – Prison Joke^[3]Unijokes – Prison Joke