Top 40 Emotions Jokes

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It is important to express your emotions. One of the most important is laughing. With that in mind, check out the top 40 emotions jokes.

#40 – 30. Emotions Jokes

40. My psychologist says I have trouble identifying my emotions Not quite sure how I feel about it

39. Money brings some happiness; but after a certain point, it just brings more money. – Neil Simon

38. All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast. – John Gunther

37. Love is the answer… but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions. – Woody Allen

36. Although it is a far cry from there to here, he laughed all the way. – Arthur ‘Bugs’ Baer

35. A man in love is like a clipped coupon… it’s time to cash in. – Mae West

34. My ex told me we broke up because I’m too reliant on logic and refuse to acknowledge my emotions. I told her, correlation is not causation.

33. What do you call emotions of a DNA? Gene expressions

32. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, but it sure heats up the blood. – Elizabeth Ashley

31. The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person. – Chuck Palahniuk

30. We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it. – George Bernard Shaw

#29 – 20. Emotions Jokes

29. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. – Voltaire

28. Q: What kind of emotions do noses feel? *A: Nostalgia!*

27. Isn’t it the best feeling when you have been holding it in the entire day and finally you get to release it at the end of day? I’m talking about emotions.

26. The only difference in the game of love over the last few thousand years is that they’ve changed trumps from clubs to diamonds. – The Indianapolis Star

25. What do you call the unit that measures emotions? A sentimetre.

24. It’s better to have loved and lost, then have to live with that bitch for the rest of my life. – Steve McGrew

23. A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition. – Sidney Clare

22. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most embarrassment will be the one to – Wright’s Coronary

21. What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man

20. Ways to Relieve Stress #10: Make up a language and ask people for directions. – Stewart Francis

#19 – 10. Emotions Jokes

19. Q: What’s the definition of mixed emotions? A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.

18. I run a rehabilitation program where we get prison inmates to write poetry to help them cope with their emotions. I call it: Prose and Cons

17. I just got diagnosed with the inability to feel emotions Now I’m sad

16. A professor asked one of his automotive students if he knew what the definition of “mixed emotions” was…The student said “watching your mother-in-law drive off a cliff in your new Cadillac.”

15. Hey! What do they call a bear that has uncontrollable emotions? A Bipolar bear.

14. Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh. – H.L. Mencken

13. I sold my emotions the other day…Not really sure how I feel about it.

12. A lot of people don’t know it, but onions make me sad! – Mitch Hedberg

11. What part of the leg understands your emotions? The empathighs.

10. You know, people are always telling me how I dont communicate right or dont understand emotions. You know what i say to that? Kiss my ASPERGERS!

#9 – 1. Emotions Jokes

9. Money is not the most important thing in the world, love is… fortunately, I love money. – Jackie Mason

8. Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. – Irvin Cobb

7. Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket. – Robert Orben

6. There’s a stereotype that Scottish men are bad at showing their emotions. This isn’t true! I once knew a Scot who loved his wife so much he almost told her!

5. Mixed emotions: watching a bus full of lawyers plunge off a cliff…with five empty seats.

4. I like my water like I like my emotions. Bottled

3. Why don’t men often show their true feelings? Because they don’t have any.

2. Why is playing the viola like peeing in your pants? They both give you a nice warm feeling without making any sound.

1. What word is used to describe a plant’s range of emotions? Chlorofeels

Ideas for the top 40 emotions jokes come from the following sources.^[1]jokes4all – Feeling Jokes^[2]just one liners – emotions^[3]upjoke – Emotions Joke