Top 53 Boyfriend Jokes

Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Boyfriends can be great but frustrating at the same time. Sometimes they are nice, but other times they are mean. However, they always seem to be funny. With that in mind, check out the top 53 boyfriend jokes.

#53 – 50. Boyfriend Jokes

53. Q: What do a good employee and a boyfriend have in common? A: They’re always coming early.

52. Why was the blondes’ belly button sore? Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

51. Girlfriend: Wanna see a magic trick? Boyfriend: Sure, babe. Girlfriend: BAM! You’re single.

50. Q: What is a major turnoff? A: When your boyfriend talks about his ex.

#49 – 40. Boyfriend Jokes

49. Q. How can you tell if your boyfriend is happy? A. Who cares?

48. Q: Why do only 10 percent of boyfriends make it to heaven? A: Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

47. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.

46. What do you call your daughter’s boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm? An ambulance

45. Why won’t my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.

44. Q: Did you hear about the new “morning after” pill for boyfriends? A: It changes their DNA.

43. What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation? Do you need help packing your shit?

42. When Susan’s boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: “I love the simple things in life, but I don’t want one of them for my husband.

41. Q: What do you call a man made out of garbage? A: Your ex-boyfriend!

40. Feel my shirt…it’s boyfriend material

#39 – 30. Boyfriend Jokes

39. Q: How does a boyfriend show he’s planning for the future? A: He buys an extra case of beer.

38. Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a boyfriend watching Monday Night Football? A: The sofa doesn’t keep asking for beer.

37. Her boyfriend is so stupid, when they were handing out brains he thought they said trains, so he asked for a slow one.

36. A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

35. Q: How can you tell when your boyfriend is well hung? A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

34. Q. How do you get your boyfriend to do sit-ups? A. Put the remote control between his toes.

33. You know your boyfriend is in love with you when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

32. Q: What’s a boyfriends definition of a romantic evening? A: Sex.

31. My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

30. Q: Why are Boyfriends like parking spaces? A: The good ones are already taken!

#29 – 20. Boyfriend Jokes

29. Men are like a pack of cards, you need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to batter them, and a spade to bury them.

28. Q: Why are boyfriends like cars? A: Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.

27. Q: What does a boyfriend and mascara have in common? A: They both run at the first sign of emotion.

26. Jill: You remind me of the sea. Jack: Because I’m wild, unpredictable and romantic? Jill: No, because you make me sick.

25. Son: mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me ? Mom: no that’s impossible Son: but it is possible for your secret boyfriend right Mom: no no please don’t tell your dad i will make a strawberry cake for you Son: daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake so because of that i felt jealous

24. Q: What is the difference between motorbike and boyfriend? A: Well, bike is first kicked than used and boyfriend is first used than kicked.

23. What’s the difference between a husband and a boyfriend? 45 minutes.

22. Q: How do boyfriends exercise on the beach? A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini

21. Q. When would you want a man’s company? A. When he owns it!

20. Q: How many ex-boyfriends does it take to tile a bathroom? A: Two – if you slice them very thinly.

#19 – 10. Boyfriend Jokes

19. Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? A: A Boyfriend.

18. Q: What’s a boyfriends idea of honesty in a relationship? A: Telling you his real name.

17. My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

16. My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.

15. My boyfriend likes to eat vegetables that looks like him for dinner. Good thing he’s a cute-cumber.

14. Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a condom? A: Condoms have changed. They’re no longer thick and insensitive!

13. So a girl says to her ex I can’t get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we’ve the girl replies I see you in everything like when I’m walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere

12. A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her p….. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.

11. A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort’s. Thats nothing once we we’re in the kitchen I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!

10. Q: What book do women like the most? A: “Their boyfriends paycheck!”

#9 – 1. Boyfriend Jokes

9. A girl comes home and says to her boyfriend: “I have just had a tattoo of a sea shell on the inside of my leg at the top.” Her boyfriend gets his head between her legs and puts his ear to the tattoo and listens to the sea. “That’s brilliant,” he said “you can also smell the fish market!”

8. Mary: Why do you call your boyfriend ‘wonder’? Karen: Because I look at him and wonder.

7. Mother to daughter: “What kind of person is your new boyfriend? Is he respectable?” “Of course he is, Mom. He’s thrifty, doesn’t drink or smoke, has a very nice wife and three well-behaved children.”

6. Do you know how to tell if your boyfriend is geting fat? He can wear your husbands clothes…

5. If your boyfriends doesn’t get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.

4. Q: What does a penis and a boyfriend have in common? A: All men have one!

3. Q: What do you call a boyfriend who Masterbates more than twice a day? A: A Terrorwrist

2. Q: Why does your boyfriend have a hole in their penis? A: So their brains can get some oxygen now and then.

1. So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend. Her boyfriend said “hi.” I said, ” knife to meet you.”

Ideas for the top 53 boyfriend jokes come from the following sources.^[1]Jokes & Funny Stories – Jokes About Boyfriends^[2]The Jokes 4 Us – Boyfriend Joke^[3]Jokes 4 All – Boyfriend Joke^[4]Worst Jokes Ever – Boyfriend Joke