Top 58 Grandparents Jokes

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Grandparents are the so special. They are the core of a family and fountains of wisdom. With that in mind, check out the top 58 grandparents jokes.

#58 – 50. Grandparents Jokes

58. What did our grandparents do without TV or internet? I don’t know. Ask your mom and her 6 siblings.

57. Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? Because they have a common enemy

56. Who is the one that chimes every one hour? A grandfather, who’s like the clock.

55. How would grandpa react when you tell him about online classes? He would say, “Why is your education on the line? How will that work?”

54. What did grandpa call the movie ‘avatar’? Smurfs for the grown-ups.

53. Both my grandparents were midgets They struggled to put food on the table their whole lives

52. My friend’s grandparents are 75 and they still have a lot of oral sex… he yells ‘Screw you’, she hollers back ‘Screw you too’

51. How I plan on never becoming a Grandparent…I’ll be naming my daughter pregnant so when a guy meets her. Guy: Hi, I’m Paul. Her: Hi, I’m pregnant. Case closed.

50. My parents had me late in life so I never met any of my grandparents. No body was suprised about this It was a four gone conclusion

#49 – 40. Grandparents Jokes

49. Why did grandpa’s origami business go out? Because it folded.

48. Shoutout to my grandparents Because that’s the only way they can hear me

47. I’m 12 feet taller than my grandparents. I’m 6 feet tall and they’re 6 feet under.

46. My Grandparents passed away together last night. He went peacefully in his sleep, but she was apparently distraught before dying, screaming and crying hysterically I guess we really should’ve taken away his license

45. Why did my grandpa get a man in slim-fit jeans drinking an avocado smoothie to come home? Because he was my grandpa’s hip replacement; just like my grandpa, but hip!

44. What does grandpa do when you tell him to change his hearing aid? He doesn’t listen.

43. How can God and grandpa be similar? Because they both are old.

42. Why didn’t anyone know where the grandfather was? Because he started walking 10 miles every day since his 65-year-old birthday and now he is 95.

41. My grandparents are from San Juan, Puerto Rico, but the rest of my family is European. I guess that makes me Quarter-Rican.

40. Why was grandpa counting pennies? Because he was the only one with time and money in his hand.

#39 – 30. Grandparents Jokes

39. What are the two things your grandpa doesn’t like about you as a little boy? One, you don’t want to sleep in the afternoon. Two, you won’t let him take a nap either.

38. What would a lawnmower grandfather’s epitaph be like? ‘Now he’s lawn-gone’.

37. Genes are like grandparents We all have them and hopefully our parents don’t share them.

36. My entire family urged me to get an abortion but my grandparents supported my decision. They are great grandparents.

35. Why is today the last day that one can see 82-year-old grandpa? Because he would be 83 tomorrow.

34. How does the kid tell you that their grandparents called? 60s kids: Grandma called. 70s kids: Gramps called. 80s kids: Granny called. 90s kids: Grandmother called. Kids now: Boomerang.

33. Why do you think grandpa says that he was made upside down? Because his feet smell and his nose is always running.

32. What happens when a boy, his father, and grandpa laugh so hard that they pee their pants? You get to know that it runs in their jeans.

31. Why didn’t anyone listen to my warning about the Titanic drowning? My grandfather replied, “Because you were in the theater, little boy”.

30. The class is learning about the holocaust, when the teacher asks if anyone’s grandparents died in the deathcamps. Little Billy puts his hand up. “Oh… Class, let us hold a minute of silence for him. If it is not too indiscreet, how did he die?” “Fell off a watchtower.”

#29 – 20. Grandparents Jokes

29. What is grandpa’s bedtime? One hour after falling asleep on his rocking chair.

28. I just found out my grandparents got infected, I can’t believe it honestly, I told them to use protection and stuff but they wouldn’t listen and now the whole care homes got it. Oh well at least it’s easy to treat chlamydia now a days.

27. My grandparents just got a chihuahua named Peewee We call him Peewee hermano

26. Why do grandparents have so many clocks? So they won’t run out of time

25. My grandparents have died 36 times Every time I change jobs all four of them come alive again.

24. Why did grandpa like to wear glasses while collecting take out for dinner? He goes to pick up the dinner with a contact-less drive-through.

23. Why did dad put wheels on grandpa’s rocking chair? Because grandpa wanted to Rock-n-Roll.

22. What do people call grandfather clocks? The old-timers.

21. What do grandparents smell like? “Depends”

20. How do you get your grandparents to stop saying your life depends on technology? Reply, No, u. as you reach for the plug.

#19 – 10. Grandparents Jokes

19. I once saw my grandparents have sex And that’s why I don’t eat raisins

18. My Grandparents bought a new China set…They asked me what I thought of it…I said it was fine…

17. My grandparents were vaporised in a freak accident They will be mist… :'(

16. Why did Grandpa get banned from the zoo? Because he had a lion’s heart.

15. What did grandpa say after reading ‘Karaoke Tonight’ at a restaurant? He just asked what sort of fish that was.

14. My grandparents think that I depend too much on technology. They always talk about how much my generation depends on technology, and my grandfather always mentions it whenever I visit them, so then I replied, no, your generation depends too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.

13. How did our grandparents killed time when there were no Smartphones and Internet? I already asked my mom, her four sisters and five brothers.

12. Why didn’t the grandpa use glasses even when he was an 80-year-old? Because he likes drinking from the bottle.

11. So many jokes about the Holocaust but how would you feel if your grandparent died in Auschwitz? My grandad did, he fell off the guard tower.

10. My great great grandparents sacrificed a lot for our family. So as an Alabamian, family values are important to me…I have to honor my incestors.

#9 – 1. Grandparents Jokes

9. Why did grandpa tell the ghosts about his shirt size? Because he was the medium. 

8. My grandparents fought during World War II. They ended up getting a divorce.

7. What did the tall grandpa say to the little boy? You will have to do your own growing boy, my height won’t help you with that.

6. Why do people give a shout-out to their grandpa on their birthdays? Because that is the only way grandpa can hear them.

5. If you, your parents, and your grandparents use reddit, I guess you could say it’s Haredditary

4. My grandparents, parents, and even my siblings have chronic diarrhea…runs in the family

3. My grandparents told me they wanted me to play my bagpipes at their funeral I told them I was all booked up for next week.

2. My Grandparents were Trekkies, and named my father after their favourite Captain when I was young, I was frequently hoisted by my own Picard

1. What is the best thing about being 100 years old according to grandpa? Grandpa said, one get’s to live without peer pressure.

Ideas for the top 58 grandparents jokes come from the following sources.^[1]upjoke – grandparents joke^[2]jokojokes – THE BEST 22 GRANDPARENT JOKE^[3]kidadl – 50+ Grandpa Jokes That Will Make The Whole Family Laugh