Top 71 Athlete Jokes
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Athletes are people that we look up to for there dedication to making themselves the best in their particular sports. However, we can also laugh and make jokes about them. With that in mind, check out the top 71 athlete jokes.
Table of Contents
#71 – 60. Athlete Jokes
71. Q: What do you call 143 white guys chasing after one black guy? A: PGA Tour
70. Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
69. Q: What tea do hockey players drink? A: Penaltea!
68. Q: How do hens encourage their baseball teams? A: They egg them on!
67. Q: Where do religious school children practice sports? A: In the prayground!
66. Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? A: Because it heard the referee was blowing fouls
65. Q: What did the bumble bee striker say? A: Hive scored!
64. Q: What part of a football ground is never the same? A: The changing rooms!
63. Q: Why did the goal post get angry? A: Because the bar was rattled!
62. Q: Why Was Cinderella such a lousy baseball player? A: She had a pumpkin for a coach!
61. The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never beas good as a wall.
60. Going fora walk because I want to stay healthy. Taking along a box of M&M’s because let’s be honest here.
#59 – 50. Athlete Jokes
59. Q: Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches? A: They prefer cricket matches!
58. Q: How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one.But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.
57. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
56. “I have the body of an athlete.” “Better give it back. You’re getting it out of shape.”
55. Q: Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? A: Because education pays off in the long run!
54. Q: What is a runner’s favorite subject in school? A: Jog-raphy!
53. Did you hear they banned fans from doing “The Wave” at all sports events? Toomany blondes were drowning.
52. Q: What lights up a soccer stadium? A: A soccer match!
51. Q: What’s the chilliest ground in the premiership? A: Cold Trafford!
50. What’s the difference between baseball and politics? In baseball you’re out if you’re caught stealing.
#49 – 40. Athlete Jokes
49. Q: Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games? A: So that they can pack the defence!
48. Q: If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
47. Why did the bald man take up running? To get some fresh ‘air.
46. Ice hockey is basically just guys wearing knife shoes fighting each other with long sticks for the last Oreo.
45. Q: What did they call Dracula when he won the league? A: The champire!
44. Q: Why did a outfielder take a piece of rope onto the field? A: He was the skipper!
43. Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.
42. Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the baseball team? A: Because she ran away from the ball!
41. Q: What does a hockey player and a magician have in common? A: Both do hat tricks!
40. Fan:”I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What’s it for?¨”Athlete: “It’s for telling knock knock jokes.” Fan: “And what’s that gold medal for?” Athlete: “For stopping.”
#39 – 30. Athlete Jokes
39. Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other:”You won’t believe this, but I’ve just run 100 metres in 10 seconds.”The other says: “But that’s impossible, that’s the world record.” So the other says: “Ah hah, but I took a short cut.”
38. Q: What can you serve but never eat? A: A volley ball
37. Q: How did the football pitch end up as triangle? A: Somebody took a corner!
36. Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!
35. A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don’t even own bikes…
34. Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
33. Q: Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar? A: All of them, a crossbar can’t jump!
32. Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!
31. Q: How do baseball players stay cool? A: They sit next to their fans!
30. I named my dog 6 miles so I can tell people that I walk 6 miles every single day.
#29 – 20. Athlete Jokes
29. Q: How does a physicist exercise? A: By pumping ion!
28. She couldn’t let go. Making judging the distance quite tricky.
27. Q: Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear? A: Because he liked sole music!
26. Q: How did the basketball court get wet? A: The players dribbled all over it!
25. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
24. Q: Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face-off in the corner.
23. Q: Why didn’t the dog want to play football? A: It was a boxer!
22. Q: What stories are told by basketball players? A: Tall stories!
21. Q: Why did the chicken get sent off? A: For persistent fowl play!
20. Q: Which insect didn’t play well at quarterback? A: The fumble bee!
#19 – 10. Athlete Jokes
19. Q: What is a goal keepers favorite snack? A: Beans on post!
18. Q: Why aren’t baseball stadiums built in outer space? A: Because there is no atmosphere!
17. Q: What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded? A: Bring on their subs!
16. Q: What part of a football pitch smells nicest? A: The scenter spot!
15. Jack:”What’s the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?” Jill:”I haven’t a clue. What?” Jack: “Prontosaurus.”
14. Q: Where do football directors go when they are fed up? A: The bored room!
13. Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
12. Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a pair of tennis rackets? A: Ping Pong!
11. Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
10. Q: Whatdoes a carpenter have in common with a volleyball player? A: They both like tohammer spikes.
#9 – 1. Athlete Jokes
9. Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
8. Q: What’s tennis players favorite city? A: Volley wood!
7. Q: What do you do when you play the National Volleyball Team? A: You wear football helmets.
6. The ladies say I’m like Usain Bolt in the bedroom… I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
5. So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his off season training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
4. Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.
3. You’re not alone. Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he’s running in circles.
2. Q: Where do old bowling balls end up? A: In the gutter!
1.Q: Why did the skydiving club disband? A: Because they had a falling out.
Ideas for the top 71 athlete jokes were taken from the following sources.((Jokes 4 Us – Sports One Liner Jokes))((Super Jokes – Athlete Joke))((Unijokes – The best athlete joke))((One Line Fun – Sport one liners))
