Top 71 Farmer Jokes

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Being a farmer is a hard honest profession. However, it doesn’t mean that it is without humor. With that in mind, check out the top 71 farmer jokes.

#71 – 70. Farmer Jokes

71. Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field.

70. Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field!

#69 – 60. Farmer Jokes

69. Farmer: “Why can’t you make bread like my mother?” Wife: “Why can’t you make dough like my father?”

68. What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bor!

67. What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar!

66. What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries.

65. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.

64. What did the farmer get when he crossed an owl with a goat? a ‘Hootinanny’

63. What is a horse’s favorite sport? Stable tennis!

62. What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries!

61. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

60. What do farmers need to create crop circles? A Pro-tractor.

#59 – 50. Farmer Jokes

59. What do you give a sick horse? Cough stirrup!

58. Why was the cucumber mad? Because it was in a pickle!

57. What do farmers use to make crop circles? A pro-tractor.

56. What’s the best part of farming? Getting down and dirty with my hoes

55. Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play!

54. Where do farmers send their kids to grow? Kinder-garden.

53. What grows when fed but dies when watered? Fire.

52. What is a farmers favorite Bruce Springsteen song? Born in the USDA.

51. Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field!

50. I was driving past a farm the other day and there was a field with loads of sheep in it.I thought to myself “Wow! Look at all those sheep crammed in there. There’s too many to even zzzz…”

#49 – 40. Farmer Jokes

49. Why did the lamb call the police? He had been fleeced.

48. What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer? You take me for grunted.

47. What do farmers use to make crop circles? A Protractor

46. What day do potatoes hate the most? Fry-day.

45. What grows under your nose? Tulips!

44. What did the farmer call his cow? Pat.

43. What do you call the best butter on the farm? A goat.

42. What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An eggroll!

41. What do you call a dog on the farm? A Corn Dog.

40. What do you get when you cross a farmer and some trendy headphones? Beets by Dre.

#39 – 30. Farmer Jokes

39. Why did the pig take a bath? The farmer said, “Hogwash”!

38. Why were the baby strawberries crying? Their ma and pa were in a jam

37. What type of horses only go out at night? Nightmares!

36. What kind of pigs know karate? Pork chops!

35. What do you call a Nebraskan farmer with a sheep under each arm? A pimp.

34. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn?

33. How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.

32. I was really impressed by the farmer I saw the other day. He was out standing in his field.

31. Farmers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, turn-ip the covers, en-dive into bed!

30. What do you call an arctic cow? An eskimoo!

#29 – 20. Farmer Jokes

29. What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor? A transfarmer.

28. What farm animal keeps the best time? A watch dog.

27. What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows? Udder nonsense!

26. What is a Happy Farmers favorite candy? A Jolly Rancher.

25. Why did the cow jump over the moon? The farmer had cold hands.

24. Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar? He wanted sweet and sour pork!

23. What new crop did the farmer plant? Beets me!

22. Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain? He has got no beef.

21. What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.

20. What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor? A transfarmer.

#19 – 10. Farmer Jokes

19. As a farmer, I hear lots of jokes about sheep. I’d tell them to my dog but he’d herd them all.

18. What do you say to a cow if it’s in your way? You tell it to Mooooooooooove.

17. Why do cows like being told jokes? Because they like being amoosed!

16. Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing!

15. What farm animal keeps the best time? A watch dog!

14. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!

13. Question: Who takes care of the farm when the farmer is sick? Answer: The pharmacist.

12. Why did the cabbage win the race? Because it was ahead!

11. What day do potatoes hate the most? Fry-day!

10. What did the farmer say when he lost one of his cows? What a miss-steak.

#9 – 1. Farmer Jokes

9. Who tells chicken jokes? Comedihens!

8. What happened when the farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier? He got a hot-diggity-dog!

7. What is a sheep’s favorite game? Baa-dminton!

6. Patient: Doctor, I feel like a pony! Doctor: Don’t worry, you’re just a little hoarse!

5. How did the chicken farmer get into Guinness World Records? He has a massive cock.

4. Did you hear about the wooden tractor ? It had wooden wheels, wooden engine, wooden transmission and wooden work.

3. Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field.

2. What do you get when you cross a Elephant with a garden? Squash!

1.If a cow laughed really hard…. would milk come out of her nose?

Ideas for the top 71 farmer jokes came from the following sources.^[1]SuperJokes – Farmer Joke^[2]Jokes4Us – Farmer Joke^[3]LaffGaff – Funny Farmer Joke & Farm Jokes