Top 101 Funny Music Jokes

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Listening music is a great way to pass time. Learning how to play an instrument is a great hobby. In addition, jokes about music can be really funny. With that in mind, check out the top 101 funny music jokes.

#101 – 90. Funny Music Jokes

101. Q: How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn? A: Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

100. Q: What makes pirates such good singers? A: They can hit the high Cs!

99. Q: Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? A: He was playing by ear

98. Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common? A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed

97. How can you tell that there’s a drummer at your front door? The knocking gets faster and faster.

96. How do you know when a trombone player is at your front door? The doorbell drags.

95. What do you do if your bassist is drowning? Throw him his amp.

94. Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test? A: Saliva.

93. Q: What’s the difference between a folk guitar player and a large pizza? A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

92. Q: How do you tell you’re kissing a french horn player? A: He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

91. Q: How do you make musicians complain? A: Pay them.

90. Q: What happens when you play “the blues” backwards? A: Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

#89 – 80. Funny Music Jokes

89. How can you tell that there’s an accordionist at your front door? He doesn’t stop knocking even after you answer.

88. Q: What concert costs 45 cents? A: 50 cent featuring Nickelback

87. Q: What part of the turkey is musical? A: The drumstick!

86. Q: What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion? A: Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

85. Q: What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on? A: He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

84. Q: Why is slippery ice like music? A: If you don’t C sharp – you’ll B flat!

83. How can you tell that there’s a vocalist at your front door? She forgot the key and doesn’t know when to come in.

82. Q: Why did the girl sit on the ladder to sing? A: She wanted to reach the high notes!

81. Q: What’s the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher? A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.

80. Q: Why don’t they know where Mozart is buried? A: Because he’s Haydn.

#79 – 70. Funny Music Jokes

79. Q: whats the differance between a pianist and god? A: god doesn’t think he’s a pianist

78. Q: What do clarinetists use for birth control? A: Their personalities.

77. Q: What happens when you play Beethoven backwards? A: He decomposes.

76. How do you know when the stage is level? The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

75. What’s the definition of an optimist? A folk musician with a mortgage.

74. Q: What type of music are balloons scared of? A: Pop music!

73. Q:Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players? A:Terrorists have sympathizers

72. Q: What message did Bach have on his answering machine? A: “This phone is baroque, please call Bach later.”

71. Q: Why did the singer climb a ladder? A: She wanted to reach the high notes!

70. Q: Why is the French horn the most divine instrument? A: Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out.

#69 – 60. Funny Music Jokes

69. Q: What is another term for trombone? A: A wind driven, manually operated, pitch approximator.

68. Q: What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument? A: A Moo-sician!

67. Q: How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say “I don’t know, what do you think?”

66. Q: What makes music on your head? A: A head band!

65. Q: Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor? A: He was feeling a Lil Weezy

64. Q: What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common? A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

63. Q: What do clarinetists use for birth control? A: Their personalities.

62. Q: Why was the piano player arrested? A: Because he got into treble with the cops

61. How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughn tune? Evidently all of them.

60. Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond? A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

#59 – 50. Funny Music Jokes

59. Q: How do you get a trombonist off of your porch? A: Pay him for the pizza

58. What’s the difference between a fiddle and a violin? Who cares – neither one’s a guitar

57. What’s the difference between a musician and a savings bond? One of them eventually matures and earns money.

56. Q: How do you get an oboist to play A flat? A: Take the batteries out of his electronic tuner.

55. I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it! You never know when you might need a nail.

54. Q: What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza? A: A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

53. Q: What’s the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner? A: You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

52. Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm? A: A tattoo.

51. Q: Why did Bach have so many children? A: He did not have a stop on his organ.

50. Q: What is the musical part of a snake? A: The scales!

#49 – 40. Funny Music Jokes

49. Q: Where did the music teacher leave her keys? A: In the piano!

48. Q: What do you call a musician with a college degree? A: Night manager at McDonalds

47. Q: What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base? A: A Flat Major

46. What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless ..

45. Q: What’s the latest crime wave in New York City? A: Drive-by trombone solos.

44. Why are so many guitarists jokes one liners? So the rest of the band can understand them

43. How do you get two piccolo players to play in perfect unison? Shoot one.

42. Q: What do call Bach? A: Dead.

41. Q: Where did the music teacher leave his keys? A: In the piano!

40. Q: What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner? A: You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.

#39 – 30. Funny Music Jokes

39. What’s the definition of a minor second? Two oboists playing in perfect unison.

38. Q: What’s the difference between a piano and a tuna? A: You can tuna piano, but you can’t piano a tuna

37. Q: What’s the definition of a minor second interval? A: Two Soprano Sax players reading off the same part.

36. Q: What’s the first thing a musician says at work? A: “Would you like fries with that?”

35. Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A: A drummer

34. Q: How do you make a musician’s car more aerodynamic? A: Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

33. Q: Why was the musician arrested? A: He was in treble

32. Q: What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft? A: A Flat Miner

31. Q: Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens? A: They kept saying Bach, Bach!

30. Q: How do you get a cello player to play in tune? A: Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

#29 – 20. Funny Music Jokes

29. Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players? A: It saves time in the long run.

28. Q: Why did Mozart kill his chickens? A: Because they always ran around going “Bach! Bach! Bach!”

27. Q: Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music? A: Because she broke the record!

26. Q: how many drummers does it take to change a light buld? A: “oops, i broke it!”

25. Did you hear about the guitarist who was in tune? Neither did I

24. Q: What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit? A: “The Defendant”

23. Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm? A: A tattoo.

22. Q: How do you make a band stand? A: Take their chairs away!

21. Q: What makes music on your hair? A: A head band!

20. How do you know when there’s a banjo player at your door? His hat says “Domino’s”.

#19 – 10. Funny Music Jokes

19. Q: Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players? A: Terrorists have sympathizers

18. What do you call a accordionist with a beeper? An optimist.

17. Q:How many Folk Singers does it take to change a light bulb? A:One to change it and 5 to sing about how good the old one was

16. Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won’t blow away? A: Root position cords.

15. Q: What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument? A: A moo-sician

14. Q: What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend? A: Homeless.

13. Q: Why are pirates great singers? A: They can hit the high C’s!

12. Q: How many conductors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: No one knows, no one ever looks at him.

11. Q: What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft? A: A Flat Miner

10. Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? A: Bach in the saddle again.

#9 – 1. Funny Music Jokes

9. Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players? A: It saves time in the long run.

8. Q: How do you make a million dollars singing jazz? A: Start with two million.

7. Q: What’s the definition of perfect pitch? A: When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

6. We know a guy who was so dumb his teacher gave him two sticks and he became a drummer, but lost one and became a conductor.

5. Q: Why can’t skeletons play music at a church? A: They have no organs.

4. Q: What’s the difference between a banjo and an onion? A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.

3. Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano? A: You can’t tuna fish!

2. Q: What’s the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet? A: About three decibels.

1. Q: What has forty feet and sings? A: The school choir!

Ideas for the top 101 funny music jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Ducksters – Music Jokes^[2]osborn music – Musician Jokes^[3]Quick, Funny Jokes! – Music Jokes^[4]Ducks Deluxe – Musician Jokes^[5]Unijokes – The best music jokes^[6]Work Joke – Funny Musicians Jokes