Top 101 Gym Jokes

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Going to the gym is a great way to get in shape and stay healthy. However, did you know it is a great source of humor. With that in mind, check out the top 101 gym jokes.

#101 – 90. Gym Jokes

101. I like going for runs at night because the added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio.

100. I can’t stand to see my wife in her workout clothes in the gym, it’s embarrassing. I have no way to hide my erection.

99. A guy proposed to a woman in the gym but she said no 🙁 Well that didn’t workout

98. What do you call a jewish gym-goer? A Hebro

97. I broke up with my gym. We were just not working out

96. Just stopped in the middle of my run to pet a golden retriever puppy, am I doing fitness right?

95. Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym. After they were done, they sat together in the locker room. One turned to the other and said, “I’m sore, eh?” The other said, “What for?”

94. My running form could be described as “drunk woman slowly being chased by no one”.

93. I have been hitting the gym recently. I’m not getting fitter, but my hand is getting darn bloody.

92. I just ordered a set of dumbbells, so that’ll be a fun new thing to trip over while I search for the remote.

91. Saw a group of bodybuilding priests at the gym today. Talk about muscle mass

90. After weeks of keeping it secret, I confessed to my gym buddies that I had taken the bench press out of my workout schedule. That was a weight off my chest.

#89 – 80. Gym Jokes

89. What do you call terrorist that’s ripped? Osama Bin Liftin.

88. Why did the personal trainer grab a new shirt? Someone told him he was ripped.

87. Recently signed up for a gym, even paid 3 months in advance. I just weighed myself and I gained 2 kilos! “If this continues, I think I might have to go there and see what the hell is wrong”

86. I’ve been going to the local gym to get pumped. Sorry, *Jim.

85. I asked my blind date to meet me at the gym… but she never showed up :(…guess the two of us are never gonna work out

84. What did the Christian say to the ladies at the gym? Hallowed be thy gains

83. My local gym costs $120 for an entire year. That’s $60 per visit, not a great deal.

82. Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you’d like to lose a half pound right now, press “1” 18,000 times.

81. Today was awesome, I found $1.36 in change in the gym shower today And the guy dropping them was really nice too

80. What did the group of monkeys say to the gym instructor? Help us buffoons.

#79 – 70. Gym Jokes

79. I’m the best at pretending there’s something wrong with the machine at the gym when I don’t know how to use it.

78. I thought a spin cycle class was about laundry.

77. I was supposed to meet my tinder date for the first time at the gym…But she didn’t show up. I guess we aren’t going to work out.

76. How do you call a gym thats dirty. A gymnastium

75. I asked my trainer at the gym if I could start shadow boxing. He said, “Knock yourself out!”

74. What does leg day and sex have in common? When done right you can’t walk for days.

73. *watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*

72. What does a personal trainer think before he shows a client how to do deadlifts? Don’t Fart….Don’t Fart…..

71. I joined a gym and lost 10 pounds in first week. They canceled my membership.

70. Why did satan open a gym? So he could exercise his demons.

#69 – 60. Gym Jokes

69. My first workout back at the gym was great. I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the defibrillator, and then 3 days in the hospital.

68. Thing I Counted As Exercise Today: Going to exchange a sweater but forgetting the sweater, then eating a burrito and going home.

67. I’m sorry if I don’t wave or smile back at you while I’m running. It’s just that I’m trying very hard to not die.

66. A man in his sixties asks the trainer at the gym: What machine should I use to impress a 30 year old girl? The personal trainer looks at him and says … “I recommend the ATM.”

65. What do chickens work on in the gym?…Their pecks.

64. Ugh, who has time to work out? I say before a 45 minute nap.

63. J.K. Rowling recently tweeted out that Hogwarts actually has a full gym for wizards to exercise and lift weights. The entrance is called the Dumbbell Door

62. I asked a personal trainer “Do you need to eat eggs to get jacked?” He said “No Whey!”

61. I don’t always take a rest day but when I do, It’s to give the weights a day off.

60. Why did the blonde get a perm? Because her trainer said curls might help.

#59 – 50. Gym Jokes

59. Fitness Failure: I just burned 2000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap.

58. The doctor who checked my prostate looked like he spent five days a week at the gym. So I asked him what the weather was going to do…he was clearly a meaty urologist.

57. Just been to the gym and there’s a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. It’s good though, it does everything ‘Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps’!

56. Q: Why did the bodybuilder go to the hospital? A: Somebody told him he was all cut up!

55. Just added ‘Wandering Around the Parking Lot Looking for My Car’ as another Track Exercise on my Fitbit.

54. Running is great, cause you forget all your problems because you’re too busy focusing on one problem, and that’s that your whole body hurts.

53. I stopped going to gym and guess what I got. A trophy

52. I can never find time to work out, so I started going to the gym from 9 to 11. That way I can *Never Forget.*

51. What’s it called when a rapper goes to the gym for 20 minutes? A Lil Pump.

50. Why do hamburgers go to the gym? To get better buns.

#49 – 40. Gym Jokes

49. I always hope that when people see me outside running they think, “wow, an athlete!” but instead it’s probably more like, “Aw, good for her.”

48. Today at the gym I found a hole in my trainer large enough to stuck my finger through. She’s pressing charges.

47. Why did the chicken go to the gym. He believed in survival of the fittest

46. Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? A: Curls

45. How do you get revenge on your ex-boyfriend? Do some squats and make him wish he still had dat ass.

44. That awkward moment running near a friends house when you want to text them “hey, can I poop in your bathroom real quick?”

43. After years of hard work in the gym as a personal trainer I finally admitted I wasn’t strong enough and quit. I just handed in my too weak notice.

42. The new machine at the gym is my favourite…It has snicker, skittles, kit kats and twix

41. Two guys in a gym, one putting on a girdle. One guys says, “Since when have you been wearing a girdle?” Other guy says, “Since my wife found it in the glove compartment of our car.”

40. I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make Tuesdays or Thursdays.’

#39 – 30. Gym Jokes

39. My favorite gym day is when I do 20 minutes of untangling my ear buds and then leave because I’m hungry.

38. I cried at the gym today because the elevator was broken and I had to take the stairs. It was like they made me exercise before I was going to exercise.

37. I just signed up for a 12 month membership at a gym. My bank called wondering if my credit card got stolen

36. Strong people don’t put other people down. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.

35. Why couldn’t the personal trainer get evicted? Because he was squatting.

34. At the gym Me: (sobbing my heart out, eyes swollen, nose red)…I can’t see you anymore…I am not going to let you hurt me like this again! Trainer: It was a sit up. You did one sit up.

33. What do you call Elon Musk when he’s been to the gym a lot? Muskular

32. What does a bodybuilder do for cardio? He lifts weights faster.

31. *Refuses to go to the gym. Adds resistance training to workout list.

30. When I was a kid, I used to hate gym class. I hated the whole locker room; I was never comfortable taking off my clothes in front of other young boys. Now that I’m a priest, I don’t mind so much.

#29 – 20. Gym Jokes

29. Why do oysters go to the gym? It’s good for the mussel.

28. Me at night: I’m getting up at 6am to run. Me next morning: maybe I’ll just do a few sit-ups and call it a day.

27. Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!

26. Such a beautiful day out, I thought I’d go running. But then I remembered I don’t do that so now I’m eating Doritos for breakfast.

25. Why did the fish stop lifting weights? He pulled a mussel.

24. My wife told me to go the gym and burn some calories So I went and set some fat kids on fire

23. I like all the things about running that aren’t running. (Eating carbs, comfortable footwear, being cheered.)

22. I want to start running twenty four-hour gyms. And they’ll all be open 11-3 daily

21. Did you hear about the weightlifting vegetable? He was a muscle sprout.

20. I called the local gym asking if they can train me to do gymnastics. They said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I’m free Monday, Tuesday, and Friday.”

#19 – 10. Gym Jokes

19. I should post a gym joke for Karma, They really seem to work out.

18. I just saw some idiot at the gym. he put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

17. Sit-ups are the best exercise because they include the most lying down.

16. Do people who say, “Exercise helps me relax” know about not exercising?

15. What happened when the personal trainer brought a lion to the gym? His clients got ripped to shreds.

14. Two Chameleons walk in a gym. The first one says “Spot me, bro” The second goes “Who said that?”

13. Damn, I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 10 years in a row now…

12. Q: What did the bodybuilder say when he opened his protein tub? A: No whey!

11. I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 500 pounds! The only problem is I’m British…

10. My new years resolution was to hit the gym more often. But I’m on my fourth car this year now. This is getting kind of expensive and I think the police are suspicious.

#9 – 1. Gym Jokes

9. About to start my first half marathon and no one can tell me where the diarrhea pits are located

8. I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me and then, I didn’t show up, I hope she gets the message that we’re not working out.

7. Why do hamburgers go to the gym? To get better buns.

6. Will be opening up a Christian gym soon. Can’t decide what to call it, Jehovah’s Fitness, or CrossFit.

5. I was suspicious or my girlfriend cheating on me with this guy from her gym. So i pick up her phone at night when she’s sleeping…and drive to this dude’s place on the other side of the town and go to stand on his porch to see if the wifi connects

4. I was going to go running but no one was chasing me.

3. Tomorrow I’m definitely going to start running, no matter how many days it takes!

2. I’ve never done CrossFit but I have chased my shopping list through a windy parking lot before.

1.I asked my personal trainer which machine I should use at the gym to impress the ladies..She looked me up and down and then said, “The ATM.”

Ideas for the top 101 gym jokes come from the following sources.^[1]upjoke – gym joke^[2]Jokes 4 Us – Personal Trainer Jokes^[3]gift our precious – Top 50 Funny Gym Joke Ever