Top 101 Jokes About Life That Anyone Can Relate To

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Every day life can sometimes feel monotonous. However, it is also filled with a lot of jokes and humor. With that in mind, check out below for the top 101 jokes about life.

Table of Contents

#101 – 90. Jokes About Life

101. Everything always ends well. If not – it’s probably not the end.

100. TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.

99. Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.

98. The three unwritten rules of life: 1. 2. 3.

97. Absolutely furious that a handful of things not suited to my taste are well liked by others.

96. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: “Pint please, and one for the road.”

95. Me: “I’m finally happy!” Life: “Lol, wait a sec.”

94. Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.

93. Why was the 2 year old african kid crying? Answer: He was going through his mid life crisis

92. People used to laugh at me when I would say “I want to be a comedian”, well nobody’s laughing now.

91. Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.

90. What did the 9 year old Ethiopian say to his therapist? That he was having mid-life crisis.

#89 – 80. Jokes About Life

89. Q: What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet? A: A desserter.88. Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.87. The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but the fire trucks ruined it.86. Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.

85. Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.

84. Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.

83. My first job was being a diesel fitter at a pantyhose factory. As they came off the line, I would hold them up and say, “yeah, Deez-el fit her.”

82. Like changing coins – I always desired to change my 60 old years wife to three 20 years girls!

81. Chuck Norris has been to Mars…that’s why there is no signs of life there.

80. I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their mustache, and suddenly she is not your friend anymore…

#79 – 70. Jokes About Life

79. Is it true that 5 minutes of laugh prolongs your life by 5 minutes? It depends who you are laughing at – it may as well shorten it…

78. Doc, isn’t it harmful to drink a shot before eating? No it’s not, if you don’t eat too often…

77. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.

76. My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

75. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

74. An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true.

73. Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes.

72. A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer.

71. On the Internet you can be anything you want. It’s so strange that many people choose to be stupid.

70. What’s worse than eating an apple and finding a worm? Eating an apple and finding half a worm.

#69 – 60. Jokes About Life

69. The best way to make somebody remember you is to borrow money from them.

68. If you’re going through Hell, keep going.

67. Intelligence is like an underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off.

66. The best way to make somebody remember you is to borrow money from them.

65. Doc, I think I need to wear glasses. Indeed you have to, you are in a bank.

64. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

63. You know what I was thinking about right now? What it would be like to have six fingers….high fives would be different.

62. What do you do when life gives you lemons Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist.

61. At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?

60. Time may be a great healer but it’s also a lousy beautician.

#59 – 50. Jokes About Life

59. The problem with trouble shooting is that trouble shoots back.

58. You can make a water-bed more bouncy by using spring water.

57. The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

56. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

55. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

54. Our folk not only knows how to read between the lines but also how to leave a record between the eyes.

53. Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons. They forgot to mention Morons.

52. You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there’s no real difference between me and George Clooney.

51. I like older men because they’ve gotten used to life’s disappointments. Which means they’re ready for me.

50. The road to success is always under construction.

#49 – 40. Jokes About Life

49. I find a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

48. Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

47. It’s not the dress that makes you look fat. It’s the fat.

46. People say that life is short I say… Life is the longest thing we ever do

45. God gave us the brain to work out problems. However, we use it to create more problems.

44. Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

43. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

42. I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it.

41. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life

40. Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

#39 – 30. Jokes About Life

39. In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth… After that, everything else was Made in China.

38. Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well

37. Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

36. Can I help you? No. I just waited in the line for 30 minutes to say Hi.

35. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

34. If you ‘re still looking for that one person who will change your life take a look in the mirror.

33. Learn from yesterday, live for today and have hope for tomorrow.

32. A blonde heard that accidents happen close to home so she moved!

31. If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2. Recording on an Australian tax help line

30. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew it.

#29 – 20. Jokes About Life

29. My husband is on the roof – only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.

28. There are two types of guests: the ones, who want to stay longer, and the ones, who want to go home asap. Strangely enough, these two types are normally found in married couples.

27. When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.

26. That one liner ‘i’m not drinking too much tonight’ never goes as planned…

25. While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.

24. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

23. An angry husband hit the wife, she hit the son, he hit the daughter and the latter hit the cat. Then the cat pissed to everyone’s slippers.

22. Son – “Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?” Dad – “Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That’s confidential.”

21.Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?

20. It’s just a bad day, not a bad life.

#19 – 10. Jokes About Life

19. If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

18. All the problems fade before a hangover

17.One day you’re the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you’re toast.

16. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

15. Saying the same thing over and over again but expecting different results is called parenting.

14. Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much more for them.

13. Q: Why are politicians like diapers? A: Both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.

12. Man returning with his wife from guests. Drunk man drives car better than his sober wife. But there is only one problem, how to explain that to the policeman?

11. That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”.

10. I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.