Top 80 Baseball Jokes

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Baseball is a traditional American pastime. With that in mind, check out the top 80 baseball jokes.

#80 – 70. Baseball Jokes

80. Why is Yankee Stadium the coolest place to be? It’s full of fans

79. I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

78. How is a baseball team like a baker? They needed a good batter!

77. What goes all the way around the baseball field but never moves? The fence.

76. What’s the difference between a Yankee Stadium hotdog, and a Fenway Park hotdog? You can buy a Yankee hot dog in October.

75. A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him. “I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the pitcher. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.” “When is that?” “Right after the national anthem.”

74. I like baseball so much more than football. It’s just a batter game.

73. Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why do we sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when we’re already there?”

72. Lyle: Did you know baseball is the first sport in the Bible? Dale: No, I didn’t. Lyle: Yep, in Genesis it says, “In the big inning!”

71. What do baseball players eat on? Home plates!

70. Which animal is best at baseball? The bat.

#69 – 60. Baseball Jokes

69. What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists? One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.

68. What are the rules for zebra baseball? Three stripes and you’re out.

67. Peter: What’s a baseball player’s least favorite Star Wars movie? Sammy: I have no idea. Peter: The Umpire Strikes Back.

66. Manager: Our new infielder cost $10 million. I call him our “Wonder Player.” Fan: Why’s that? Manager: Every time he plays, I wonder why I bothered to get him.

65. It was so foggy today that the Cubs couldn’t even see who was beating them.

64. Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father? Tom: What? Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.

63. Did you hear the one about the fast pitch? Never mind. You just missed it.

62. Why is it so hot at Phillies games? Because there’s not a fan in the place.

61. The reason baseball games are at night is because bats sleep during the day.

60. What animal is best at baseball? The bat!

#59 – 50. Baseball Jokes

59. Why are spiders good baseball players? Because they know how to catch flies.

58. When does the Queen watch baseball? If it’s a knight game!

57. Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why is it called the World Series if only North American teams can play?”

56. Which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third base? From second to third base, because there is a shortstop in the middle.

55. Where do they keep the largest diamond in NYC? Yankee Stadium

54. Why did the Braves hire a baker? They needed a new batter.

53. Tanner: Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team? Nancy: Why? Tanner: She ran away from the ball.

52. A man leaves home, makes three left turns and is on his way back home when he notices two men in masks waiting for him. Who are they? They’re the catcher and umpire.

51. Where do catchers sit at lunch? Behind the plate.

50. Nathan: What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Kyle: I’m stumped. Nathan: “Catch ya later!”

#49 – 40. Baseball Jokes

49. Bob: What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs? Fred: I have no idea. Bob: A fly swatter.

48. Where do you keep your mitt while driving? In the glove compartment.

47. Ty: What do male cattle use to write? Luke: Beats me. Ty: Bullpens!

46. Why was it always so windy at Candlestick Park? Because of all the Giant Fans.

45. Michael: Why are some umpires fat? Andrew: Tell me. Michael: They always clean their plate!

44. What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire. One steals watches and one watches steals.

43. Mike: Why was Cinderella so bad at baseball? Matt: Why? Mike: She had a pumpkin for a coach.

42. Did you hear? Detroit is building a new stadium at an undisclosed location. They’re keeping it a secret because they’re afraid the Tigers might find out and try to play there.

41. Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball? If he raised them both, he’d fall down.

40. Did you hear the joke about the fast pitch? Forget it. You just missed it.

#39 – 30. Baseball Jokes

39. Christopher: Why did the sausage quit playing baseball? Anthony: Beats me. Christopher: Because he was the wurst on his team.

38. Chris: Which baseball player holds water? John: I don’t know. Which one? Chris: The pitcher.

37. What’s a baseball player do when his eyesight starts to fail him? He takes a job as an umpire.

36. Did you hear the joke about the baseball? It will leave you in stitches.

35. Why did the Brookside Angels have a ghost on their team? To add a little team spirit.

34. I love the fall. It gives me a chance to sit at home and watch the World Series. Just like the Dodgers.

33. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

32. Noe: Why is baseball stadium the coolest place to be? Joe: Why? Noe: Because it’s full of fans.

31. If you sing while playing baseball you may not get a good pitch. Never hit the ump. The Umpire Strikes Back.

30. Keep calm… I’m an outfielder. I’ll catch you!

#29 – 20. Baseball Jokes

29. Why are frogs good baseball players? Because they’re great at catching flies.

28. A man at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit him.

27. Matthew: How do baseball players keep in touch? Connor: I don’t know. How? Matthew: They touch base every once in a while.

26. Why are baseball games at night? The bats sleep during the day.

25. Why are some umpires such healthy eaters? They always clean their plate.

24. A book never written: “The Quickest Baseball Game” by Earl E. Wynn.

23. Isaac: How long did the baseball player spend in the library? Vera: I’m stumped. Isaac: Five minutes. It was a short stop.

22. Why is it so hot at Rays games? Because there’s not a fan in the place.

21. Have you ever seen a line drive? No but I have seen a baseball park.

20. Riddler: A man leaves home, makes a left turn, makes another left, then another left turn and goes home again. When he gets home there are two men wearing masks waiting for him. Who are they? Batman: I haven’t a clue. Riddler: The catcher and the umpire.

#19 – 10. Baseball Jokes

19. What runs around a baseball field but never moves? A fence.

18. Eric: What has 18 legs and catches flies? Victor: I have no idea. Eric: A baseball team!

17. You might be a diamond nerd if you think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are, “Play Ball.”

16. When should baseball players wear armor? When they’re playing knight games.

15. Mark: What are the rules in zebra baseball? Mike: What? Mark: Three stripes and you’re out.

14. Why did the police officer go to the baseball game? Someone stole second base.

13. Tanner: What do baseball players use to bake a cake? Pedro: I don’t know. What? Tanner: Oven MITTS, BUNT pans and BATTER.

12. Who’s the most famous Los Angeles Dodger? O.J. Simpson.

11. What’s the difference between a rain barrel and a bad fielder? One catches drops and the other drops catches.

10. Where does the baseball player go when he needs a new uniform? New Jersey.

#9 – 1. Baseball Jokes

9. What Do You Get When You Cross A Tree With A Baseball Player? Babe Root.

8. What’s the difference between a pick pocket and an umpire? One steals watches and one watches steals.

7. Why are centipedes not allowed to play on bug baseball teams? Because it takes too long to put their cleats on.

6. Daniel: Which baseball player loved fireplaces? Bradley: Which one? Daniel: Mickey Mantle.

5. A book never written: “Pittsburgh Pirates, World Series Champions!” by Ben Waiten.

4. How Do Baseball Players Stay Friends? They touch base every once in awhile.

3. A book never written: “How to Be a Better Baseball Player” by Ben Schwarmer.

2. Austin: Which baseball player makes flapjacks? Ethan: I don’t know. Austin: The batter!

1. Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Forget it. It’s way over your head.

Ideas for the top 80 baseball jokes come from the following sources.^[1]Scout Life – 30 Funny Baseball Joke and Comics^[2]Scary Mommy – 95+ Funny Baseball Joke And Puns Straight Outta Left Field^[3]waxpackgods – 01 Cheesy Baseball Joke … that You’ll Laugh at Anyway