Top 35 Hitler Jokes

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Hitler was not a good guy. He was responsible for many bad things before and during WWII. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t make fun of him. With that in mind, check out the top 35 Hitler jokes.

#35 – 30. Hitler Jokes

35. I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

34. What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race…

33. I kind a feel sorry for Hitler. Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

32. Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.

31. One of Hitler’s assistants says to him one day, “Sir, we’re mining too many useless ores.” Hitler replies, “Well, mine less.” A grammar nazi then bursts through the door and shouts, “Mine FEWER!” Hitler looks up and asks, “Yes?”

30. They make Bush out to sound like he’s Hitler. And people have to remember that there’s a big difference between Bush and Hitler: Hitler wrote a book.

#29 – 20. Hitler Jokes

29. Q: What was Hitler’s favorite toy as a kid? A: An Easy-Bake Oven.

28. Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them “Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs.” Then one of his generals stands and says “But… Mein furhur why four hedgehogs?” Hitler then smiles and says “See? No one gives a f*ck about the jews.”

27. Q: What was Hitler’s favorite drink? A: Concentrated jews.

26. Worker: The allies have invades Normandy! Hitler: Wow… I did NAZI that coming!

25. Who’s the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.

24. I wonder if Hitler would have been nicer to everyone if just once in a while someone had High-Fived him back?

23. “What? Damn it, I said APPLE JUICE, not GAS THE JEWS!”-Hitler

22. Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with? A: A dickhatership!

21. If I was in a room with Hitler, Osama, and You and I had a gun with two bullets, I would shoot you twice.

20. I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

#19 – 10. Hitler Jokes

19. Wanna party with me like you just don’t care? Put your hand up 45° in the air!

18. I was asked by my teacher, “What was Adolf Hitler’s book called?” Apparently, Adolf Hitler and the Gas Chambers of Secret wasn’t the correct answer.

17. People go on about what Hitler did to the Jews. What about what he did to the rest of us? He’s ruined that moustache style for everyone

16. Do you know how Hitler tied his tennis shoes? In little Natzie’s.

15. Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler.

14. The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.

13. What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn’t? Ended a race.

12. Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill.

11. Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well? A: Kill himself.

10. Wanna party with me like you just don’t care? Put your hand up 45° in the air!

#9 – 1. Hitler Jokes

9. Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, “I don’t like the juice.” Hitler heard him wrong.

8. Q: Why do German shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews have 10 fingers.

7. Knock knock? Who’s there? Hitler! Hitler who? You Know, the man who kills jews.

6. The true reason why the Nazi’s lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.

5. I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler. He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.

4. Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ’s? He always burns the franks.

3. Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.

2. Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday? A: An easy bake oven.

1.Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

Ideas for the top 35 Hitler jokes come from the following sources.^[1]SuperJokes – Hitler Joke^[2]UniJokes – The Best Hitler Joke