Top 37 Facebook Jokes

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Everyone is on Facebook. At least it seems that way. It is almost comical. With that in mind, check out the top 37 Facebook Jokes. 

#37 – 30. Facebook Jokes

37. Q: How bad was Facebook’s IPO offering? A: Dick Cheney wants to take Mark Zuckerberg hunting!

36. I’m going to create a Facebook Account with the name “Nobody” So when somebody posts something stupid I can say “Nobody Likes This!”

35. Q: Why did John Connor lead the resistance against the machines? A: Skynet refused to give John a Facebook friend request!

34. One day YouTube, Twitter and Facebook will merge and be known as YouTwitFace 🙂

33. Q: How ugly was my ex-girlfriend/boyfriend? A: So ugly that Facebook banned her/his profile pic and sent her back to Myspace!

32. Why is Facebook like Jail?  “You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don’t really know!”

31. Q: If Facebook is a loft in the city and Twitter is a house in the suburbs, what is Myspace? A: A trailer park!

30. Modern philosophy: If I went to the gym but then didn’twrite a Facebook status about it, did it ever really happen?

#29 – 20. Facebook Jokes

29. I wonder what Facebook employees do to waste their time at work?

28. Q: Why shouldn’t have Facebook paid $18 Billion dollars for Whatsapp? A: They could’ve downloaded it for free!

27. December 21st will be the most annoying day in Twitter and Facebook history.

26. Q: What happened after the “Spam King” was charged with hacking in 500,000 facebook accounts and sending 27 millon unwanted messages? A: He was convicted and sentenced 4 years of hard labor on Farmville!

25. When I die I want my best friend to change my facebook status to “chillin with Jesus”

24. Q: Why is Facebook like a refrigerator? A: Because every few minutes you keep opening and closing it to see if there’s anything good in it!

23. I’m going to change my Facebook name to Benefits. Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.

22. Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.

21. Job interview in a psychiatry: So you’re interested in working with us. What is your experience with mentally disturbed people? I’ve been on facebook for 5 years now. Very good, the job is yours.

20. I want to make a Facebook account and the name will beNobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will sayNobody Likes This.

#19 – 10. Facebook Jokes

19. Q: Why is Germany threatening Facebook with legal action over its facial recognition software? A: They say it fails to identify which faces are Jewish!

18. Q: What do you call having your grandma on speed dial? A: Instagram.

17. Q: Why shouldn’t you pay for a Classmates.com membership? A: Because Myspace and Facebook are free!

16. Q: What happened after Miss New Jersey, Amy Polumbo, lost her crown due to racy pics being leaked from her Facebook Account? A: Amy Polumbo received a million friend requests!

15. Q: Did you hear about the website where you can find a collection of Twitter’s best jokes? A: It’s called Facebook.

14. Q: Why is Facebook a great site for loners? A: Because it’s the only place where they can talk to a wall and not be considered an loser!

13. A husband asks his very ill wife at the hospital: Tell me what is your last wish? Nothing more, I just want to check my status on Facebook.

12. Q: Why is Facebook like Jail? A: You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don’t really know!

11. Q: What did the twitterer say before committing suicide? A: My Facebook can remarry!

10. Q: Why did Mark Zuckerberg visit China? A: To see the”Great Firewall”.

#9 – 1. Facebook Jokes

9. Q: In addition to the social networking site Facebook where else can you find Mafia members? A: “Controlling all the trash hauling in Second Life”

8. Q: Why did Atlanta Falcons lineman Quinn Ojinnaka post bail after getting into an altercation with his wife over facebook activity? A: Because he was afraid of going to jail and really being poked!

7. When I was kid, my social network was called “outside”.

6. Q: Why is a survey, proving Facebook users have lower grades than non-users pointless? A: Because Facebook users tell everyone how stupid they are with their status updates on a daily basis!

5. Q: What does Mark Zuckerberg give his kids for snack time? A: Instagram crackers. Come to Myspace and Twitter my Yahoo Til’ I Google all over your Facebook.

4. Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.

3. Q: When FaceBook, MySpace and Twitter merge into one super social networking company what will it be called? A: They will call it “My Twit Face.”

2. Facebook is like a fridge. Even when u know there’s nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.

1.Q: What happened after hackers shut down Twitter for a day? A: Twitterers were relegated to communicating the old fashioned way, through Facebook!

Ideas for the top 37 Facebook jokes were taken from the following sources.^[1]Jokes 4 Us – Facebook Joke^[2]UniJokes – The best jokes about Facebook^[3]SuperJokes – Facebook Joke