Top 41 Funeral Jokes

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Going to a funeral is an extremely somber and sad experience. However, sometimes the best way to help you get over your grief is with humor. With that in mind, check out the top 41 funeral jokes.

#41 – 40. Funeral Jokes

41. A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city donated to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. “A shilling?” said the Justice, “It only takes shilling to bury an attorney? Here’s a guinea; go bury 20 of `em!”

40. Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral? While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

#39 – 30. Funeral Jokes

39. Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.

38. Q: Why are there only two paulbears at a black guys funeral? A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.

37. Where would you take Stephen hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC world

36. The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!” Guess who dies next.

35. What the difference between an Irish wedding and a Irish funeral, one less drunk.

34. Q: Why are there only two paulbears at a black guys funeral? A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.

33. I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery. I’ve 3 aunts and 4 uncles in any ceremony of wedding they mention me : “oh , Bill you are enough grown up , the next time will be your turn.” I also in payoff on funeral days tell them: “Woo you are enough old I hope next time would be your turn!”

32. what con you say both at a funeral and during sex??? this whould be much better if you where alive

31. Did you hear McDonald killed Burger King in front of Five Guys over that skank Wendy? The funeral is at White Castle. I’m taking Dairy Queen.

30. My friends used to poke me at weddings and say “You’re next”. So I started poking them at funerals and saying “You’re next” to my friends.

#29 – 20. Funeral Jokes

29. When I die can someone play “Best Day Ever” during my funeral?

28. Did you hear about the circus clown funeral? All his friends came in one car.

27. In funeral of my friend’s wife, I went to condole him so I said: “Don’t think she was your wife, she was for all”.

26. I am making it my job to put the “fun” back into “funeral.”

25. Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.

24. Chuck Norris’s tombstone will say, “He’s finally taking a nap, do not wake.”

23. I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.

22. A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral. This friend asks his wife “Can I say a word?” “Of course” she says. The man stands up and says “Plethora” The man’s wife says “Thanks, it means a lot”

21. I used to hate weddings, all the old ladies would prod me and say “you’ll be next!” They soon stopped that, when I started saying it to them at funerals !

20. I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. Not understanding why everyone was so sad, I asked a lady, what’s so sad and she said “What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died”. I replied “probably a bullet”, she gasped and said “do you have any idea how insensitive that is, what do you think is running through their parent’s heads”, I said ” probably all the money their losing from this funeral”.

#19 – 10. Funeral Jokes

19. Everytime I go to a wedding my grandpa pokes me and says, ” You’re Next” So then everytime i go to a funeral with him, i poke him and say, ” You’re next.”

18. At weddings, old people poke me and say “you’re next!” So I do the same to them at funerals. At weddings, old people tell kids “you’re next”. At funerals, little kids tell old people “you’re next”.

17. What did Kanye West say at patrick swayze’s funeral? “I’ll let you get back to your funeral in a minute. but Michael Jackson had the best death of the year.”

16. Never invest in funerals. It’s a dying industry.

15. I was a little taken aback when I got my receipt from the funeral parlor, on the bottom of the receipt, after the bill, it read, “Thank you. Please come again.”

14. Yo mama so chatty she gave a eulogy at her own funeral.

13. A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”

12. My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward

11. A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

10. What’s black and white and red all over? A massacre at a funeral.

#9 – 1. Funeral Jokes

9. My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

8. Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.

7. “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

6. Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral? There’s one less drunk.

5. They say masterbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently I ruined that funeral

4. It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.

3. Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.

2. I used to hate weddings, all the old ladies would prod me and say “you’ll be next!” They soon stopped that, when I started saying it to them at funerals !

1.Q: What’s the slowest thing on 80 wheels? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.

Ideas for the top 41 funeral jokes were taken from the following sources. ^[1]Jokes 4 Us – Funeral Joke^[2]Worst Jokes Ever- Funeral Joke^[3]UniJokes- The Best Funeral Joke^[4]Super Jokes – Funeral Joke