Top 51 Fitness Jokes

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You might not be laughing a lot when you are lifting weights at the gym. However, that doesn’t mean that fitness isn’t funny. With that in mind, check out the top 51 fitness jokes.

#51 – 50. Fitness Jokes

51. I read in men’s health, that the most important thing to do when doing a workout programme is rest…I’ve done that for 2 years now and I am still no fitter than before!

50. Each mile you run adds 1 minute to your life, so when you’re 80 you can spend an extra 6 months in a nursing home at $10,000 per month.

#49 – 40. Fitness Jokes

49. Why couldn’t the personal trainer get evicted? Because he was squatting.

48. I don’t always take a rest day but when I do, It’s to give the weights a day off.

47. Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!

46. Q: What do you get when you cross a bodybuilder with a Peeping Tom? A: Amazing Peeks

45. Someone call CSI, I just killed my workout.

44. What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.

43. I knew getting a treadmill would help my wife get more exercise. She started this morning and is already half away across the room towards it.

42. Q: Why did the stupid Bodybuilder train at the zoo? A: He wanted to get ripped to shreds

41. Why did the blonde get a perm? Because her trainer said curls might help.

40. What does a personal trainer think before he shows a client how to do deadlifts? Don’t Fart….Don’t Fart…..

#39 – 30. Fitness Jokes

39. Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.

38. How do you get revenge on your ex-boyfriend? Do some squats and make him wish he still had dat ass.

37. When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.

36. Redbull doesn’t give you wings. Lat pulldowns do.

35. Why do oysters go to the gym? It’s good for the mussel.

34. I was standing naked in front of the mirror admiring my 6 pack ……but, it started to get warm, so I put the beers back in the fridge.

33. Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island? A: He wanted maximum isolation

32. What does leg day and sex have in common? When done right you can’t walk for days.

31. Why did the personal trainer grab a new shirt? Someone told him he was ripped.

30. Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you’d like to lose a half pound right now, press “1” 18,000 times.

#29 – 20. Fitness Jokes

29. Q: Why did the bodybuilder go to the hospital? A: Somebody told him he was all cut up!

28. Just been to the gym and there’s a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything ‘Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps’!

27. I got 99 problems because that’s how many muscles are sore.

26. Don’t Cha wish your girlfriend could squat like me!

25. What does a bodybuilder do for cardio? He lifts weights faster.

24. I asked a personal trainer “Do you need to eat eggs to get jacked?” He said “No Whey!”

23. Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A: He didn’t. There’s no walking on leg day.

22. Q: How do Columbians develop muscle? A: By pushing drugs

21. Q: What did the bodybuilder say when he opened his protein tub? A: No whey!

20. Sign on the company bulletin board: “This firm requires no physical fitness program. Everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying of the handle, running down the boss, flogging dead horses, knifing friend in the back, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck.”

#19 – 10. Fitness Jokes

19. Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? A: Curls

18. Strong people don’t put other people down. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.

17. Q: How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Three. One to do it and two to chant “you’re looking huge man, you’re looking huge!”

16. I met my ex-wife down at the gym. We didn’t workout.

15. I was pumping some iron in the gym yesterday, when the trainer pointed out that the hole in the weights was supposed to be for attaching them to a bar.

14. Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!

13. What do you call terrorist that’s ripped? Osama Bin Liftin.

12. Q: How do Columbians develop muscle? A: By pushing drugs.

11. Q: What do you call a Bodybuilder with a sunburn? A: Flecks Wheeler

10. What happened when the personal trainer brought a lion to the gym? His clients got ripped to shreds.

#9 – 1. Fitness Jokes

9. me – Excuse me, are you into fitness? girl – Somewhat. me – Let me fitness cock in your mouth!

8. Q: Why wasn’t the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting

7. I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.

6. Why did the fish stop lifting weights? He pulled a mussel.

5. My wife bought me an exercise bike for Christmas. I used it for a bit but have stopped now as it wasn’t getting me anywhere.

4. Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass

3. Why do hamburgers go to the gym? To get better buns.

2. Did you hear about the weightlifting vegetable? He was a muscle sprout.

1.I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, “Come on man, you’ve got to want it! Come on push. You can do it.” I hate being disturbed when I’m having a dump.

Ideas for the top 51 fitness jokes were taken from the following sources. ^[1]Jokes 4 Us – Personal Trainer Jokes^[2]Quick, Funny Jokes! – Bodybuilding and Fitness Joke for the Gym^[3]Super Jokes – Fitness Joke^[4]Unijokes – The Best Fitness Joke^[5]Jokes – Best Fitness funny jokes