The Top 62 Funny Christian Humor Jokes

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Jokes don’t always need to be dirty to be funny. You can have funny, clean, wholesome jokes as well. With that in mind, check out the top 62 Christian Humor jokes.

Table of Contents

#62 – 60. Christian Humor Jokes

62. The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose. Mosquitoes come close, though.

61. What’s so funny about forbidden fruits? They create many jams.

60. Where was Solomon’s temple located? On the side of his head.

#59 – 50. Christian Humor Jokes

59. Why are atoms Catholic? Because they have mass.

58. How do groups of angels greet each other? Halo, halo, halo!

57. How long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was Abel.

56. Who was the best female finance lady in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet

55. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson — he brought the house down

54. On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks? Quackers.

53. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? David — he rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep

52. If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was a little lamb… Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

51. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

50. Why wasn’t Jesus born in the USA? Because God couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.

#49 – 40. Christian Humor Jokes

49. Who was the first tennis player in the bible? Joseph because he served in Pharaoh’s court

48. Christian Football Definitions: Flex Defence – The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

47. Who was the greatest moneyman in the Bible? Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

46. Did you hear about the 1-800 service they have for atheists now? You dial the number and it rings and rings but nobody answers

45. Which part of the Bible won’t you find a black man? The Book of Job.

44. Christian Football Definitions: Instant Replay – The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.

43. Who was the smartest man in the Bible? Abraham. He knew a Lot.

42. Who was the fastest runner in the race? Adam. He was first in the human race.

41. Christian Football Definitions: Two-minute Warning – The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

40. Christian Football Definitions: Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

#39 – 30. Christian Humor Jokes

39. Why did the unemployed man get excited while reading his Bible? He thought he saw a job.

38. What do they call pastors in Germany? A: German Shepherds

37. Deja Vu – When you think you’re doing something you’ve done before, it’s because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends.

36. Christian Football Definitions: Benchwarmer – Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

35. Which Bible Character is a locksmith? Zaccheus.

34. What do we have that Adam never had? Ancestors.

33. Christian Football Definitions: Staying in the Pocket – What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.

32. How do you make Holy Water? You take some regular water and boil the devil out of it.

31. Christian Football Definitions: Blitz – The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

30. Christian Football Definitions: Trap – You’re called on to pray and are asleep.

#29 – 20. Christian Humor Jokes

29. Did you know they had cars in Jesus’ time? Yup. The Bible says the disciples were all of one Accord.

28. This guy came on the screen, and he goes, ‘The divorced Christian woman has to be very careful because men know she’s been married and she’s familiar.’ I guess that would explain why people keep looking at me and going, ‘Hey, you look really familiar.’

27. Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? He just knew there was something fishy about it.

26. Christian Football Definitions: Sudden Death – What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes “overtime.”

25. Christian Football Definitions: Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

24. Christian Football Definitions: Backfield-in-Motion – Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

23. What’s the best way to study the Bible? You Luke into it.

22. Which Bible character had no parents? Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).

21. What do donkeys send out near Christmas? Mule-tide greetings.

20. Who do mice pray to? Cheesus.

#19 – 10. Christian Humor Jokes

19. What excuse did Adam give his children about why he no longer lived in Eden? Your mother ate us out of house and home!

18. Why didn’t Noah ever go fishing? He only had two worms.

17. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!

16. What do you call BATMAN skipping church? Christian Bail

15. Christian Football Definitions: Half-time – The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.

14. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was always standing on the deck

13. A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism in his class. He wrote on his paper, “The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife. This is called polygamy. But we believe in having only one wife. This is called monotony”

12. Did Eve ever have a date with Adam? Nope — just an apple.

11. Does God love everyone? Yes, but He prefers “fruits of the spirit” to “religious nuts!”

10. Why did Noah have to punish and discipline the chickens on the Ark? They were using fowl language.