Top 69 Columbus Day Jokes

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In fourteen hundred ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. That’s how the poem starts. With that in mind, check out the top 69 Columbus Day jokes.

#69 – 60. Columbus Day Jokes

69. What kind of bus can cross the ocean? A Columbus.

68. Q: Why did Columbus bring helmets on his ships? A: To protect the bulkhead.

67. Q: How did Columbus say hello to other sailors? A: He waved.

66. How did Columbus greet the Native Americans when he first landed in the Americas? With new diseases.

65. Guy at work: They don’t celebrate Thanksgiving in India, do they? Me: They would if Columbus had stopped to ask for directions…

64. Who was the first cat to discover America? Christopher Columpuss!

63. Q: What baseball team did Columbus root for? A: The Mariners.

62. Q: Where did Columbus take his boat when it had a hole in it? A: To the nearest doc.

61. Q: Why did Christopher Columbus say his compasses and scales were intelligent? A: Because they all graduated.

60. Q: Why did Columbus’s first ship sink? A: It was christened with holey water.

#59 – 50. Columbus Day Jokes

59. How do you celebrate Christopher Columbus day? Barge into your neighbor’s home and claim it as yours.

58. Q: What do you get when you cross Columbus Day with Halloween? A: Ghoulumbus Day.

57. Q: What was Columbus’s favorite letter of the alphabet? A: C (Sea)

56. Q: Why did Columbus eat a candle? A: He needed a light snack.

55. Q: What do Christopher Columbus and a map key have in common? A: Both are legends.

54. Did you hear about the storm of the century in Columbus? Neither did I because, It was just rain and the lightning never showed up.

53. Q: How did Christopher Columbus pay for his trip to the new land? A: He used his Discover card.

52. The Redskins are currently getting destroyed on MNF. Wouldn’t be the first time they got destroyed on Columbus Day.

51. Q: Which did Columbus way was smarter, longitude or latitude? A: Longitude, because it has 360 degrees.

50. Q: What happened when Christopher Columbus dropped his hat in the sea? A: It got wet.

#49 – 40. Columbus Day Jokes

49. Q: What did Columbus play when he was bored? A: Played cards – because he always had a deck.

48. Q: Who taught Christopher Columbus how to sail? A: Bo Ting.

47. Q: When did they serve dinner on the Santa Maria? A: Maritime.

46. How did Columbus discover the New World? He sailed there occidentally.

45. Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro? They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan.

44. Q: How did Columbus avoid scurvy? A: Vitamin Sea.

43. When was the last time the Indians were the champions? Before Columbus came.

42. Q: What time was it when a whale jumped into Columbus’s boat? A: Time to get a new boat.

41. Q: Which football team does Christopher Columbus like the least? A: The Vikings, because they always beat him. (Leif Eriksson found America first)

40. Q: Why did Columbus bring a baseball player on his voyage? A: In case he needed someone to batten down the hatches.

#39 – 30. Columbus Day Jokes

39. Q: Why did Columbus hire a cleaning service for the Pinta? A: It was looking dinghy.

38. Q: Why did Columbus cross the ocean? A: To get to the other tide.

37. Q: How big was the shipwrecked Spanish ship? A: It was capsized.

36. Q: What happened in 1492? A: Native Americans discovered Columbus.

35. You were a great man, Christopher Columbus … to think you had the foresight of giving me work off 5 centuries later.

34. Where did Columbus first land in America? On his feet!

33. Q: What did Columbus do on his birthday? A: He get older.

32. Q: Why did the Nina crash into the dock. A: It was closer than it a-PIER-ed (Nina was one of the ships used by Columbus)

31. Q: What’s the difference between Christopher Columbus and the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz? A: One left his Spain behind and the other left his brain behind.

30. Q: How did the crew of the Santa Maria wash their clothes? A: They used tide.

#29 – 20. Columbus Day Jokes

29. Q: Where did Columbus find oceans without water? A: On his map.

28. Q: How did the young explorer get to school? A: On the ColumBUS.

27. Q: Why was Columbus in trouble with the ocean? A: He crossed it.

26. Q: How did Christopher Columbus make his crew laugh? A: With a whale of a tale.

25. Q: How was Christopher Columbus like ants? A: They both established colonies.

24. Q: Why did it take Columbus so long to say the alphabet? A: He spend months at C.

23. Q: What did Columbus use for money? A: Sand dollars.

22. What was the last thing that Columbus said to his sailors before getting on the ship? “Okay men, get on the ship.”

21. Q: Who was the first feline to discover America? A: Christopher Columpuss.

20. Q: How did the octupus make Christopher Columbus laugh? A: With ten-tickles.

#19 – 10. Columbus Day Jokes

19. Q: Why couldn’t anyone play cards on the voyage to the Americas? A: Columbus was standing on the deck.

18. Q: Where did Christopher Columbus play checkers? A: Overboard.

17. How Do Native Americans celebrate Columbus Day? They walk into your house and say “We live here now”

16. Christopher Columbus is like…the person who comments “First” on a post even though they are not the first.

15. Q: How was Columbus’s ship like Black Friday? A: They’re both driven by sails.

14. Q: How did Columbus get down from his ship’s mast? A: He didn’t – you only get down from a goose.

13. Q: Why did Columbus put one of his sailors in time-out? A: He was being naughty-cal.

12. Q: Why did Columbus do on his school report cards? A: He always worked at C-Level.

11. Q: How did Columbus land in America? A: On his feet.

10. Q: What did Columbus do with the blue whale? A: Cheered it up.

#9 – 1. Columbus Day Jokes

9. Q: Why did the map always get into trouble with Christopher Columbus? A: It had a bad latitude.

8. Q: What looks like half the Santa Maria? A: The other half.

7. Q: What vegetable wouldn’t Christopher Columbus bring back for the queen? A: Leeks – because he was on a ship and didn’t want to sink.

6. The Indians, Braves, and Redskins lost yesterday. Yesterday was Columbus Day.

5. How was Columbus’s ship like an avid shopper? They’re both driven by sales!

4. Q: What was a goal for Christopher Columbus? A: When the ball went into the net.

3. Q: What did Columbus say when he was accused of speeding through the port? A: I did knot.

2. Son: When I grow up I want to be like Christopher Columbus. Dad: An explorer? That’s great, son. Son: No, I want to get lost, spread diseases, steal tobacco and still be celebrated.

1.Q: How did Columbus get the Pinta for so cheap? A: It was on sail.

Ideas for the top 69 Columbus Day jokes come from the following sources.^[1]Fun Kids Jokes – Christopher Columbus Joke^[2]Kids Jokes – Columbus Day Joke^[3]Upjoke – Columbus Jokes