Top 49 Presidents Day Jokes

Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

The position of the President of the United States is a position to be respected. However, that doesn’t mean that we can’t make jokes about them. With that in mind, check out the top 49 Presidents Day jokes.

#49 – 40. Presidents Day Jokes

49. Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat? To keep his head warm.

48. If you crossed a vegetable with our first president, what would you get? George Squashington.

47. Lincoln is doing well in theaters, historically this has not been true.

46. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president? Ape Lincoln.

45. Where did George Washington buy his hatchet? At the chopping mall.

44. If you were a president, you’d be Babe-raham Lincoln.

43. What is Bill Clinton favorite instrument? A sexaphone!

42. What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? “Get in the boat, men.”

41. Where was the Declaration of Independance signed? At the bottom!

40. What was the most popular dance in 1776? Indepen-dance.

#39 – 30. Presidents Day Jokes

39. What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They were all born on holidays.

38. What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act? They licked the British.

37. Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden? He didn’t want any Bushes at the White House.

36. If George Washington were alive today, why couldn’t he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to.

35. What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!

34. Was General Washington a handsome man?… Yes, he was George-eous!

33. What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act? They licked the British.

32. Did you hear the one about the crooked George Washington? He committed Valley Forgery.

31. Do you know the 16th President of the United States? No, we were never introduced!

30. Knock, knock! Who’s there? George Washington…George Washington who…George Washington who…Didn’t you learn anything in history class?!!

#29 – 20. Presidents Day Jokes

29. Presidents’ Day is a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one.

28. What do you call George Washington’s false teeth? Presidentures.

27. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? It can’t sit down.

26. Why was George Washington buried standing up? Because he never lied.

25. Whats the best birthday gift you can give to George W? An Exit Strategy from Iraq.

24. When George Washington was a general, why did he like to have dogs around? They were very helpful during the “Roverlutionary War”

23. Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army? Laughayette

22. The teacher asked little Johhny, “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” Little Johnny replied, “Because he still had the axe in his hand.”

21. What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington? One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill.

20. How many senior presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb? None, they’re meant to keep the president in the dark.

#19 – 10. Presidents Day Jokes

19. What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.

18. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? It can’t sit down.

17. Why did they call Lincoln “Honest Abe”?… Because that’s what it said on all his campaign buttons.

16. How did Richard Nixon sleep in the White House? First he lied on one side, then he lied on the other.

15. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed? The Fodder Of Our Country.

14. What rock group has four guys who don’t sing? Mount Rushmore.

13. What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell? Abraham Stinkoln.

12. Civil War Jokes? I General Lee don’t find them funny.

11. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping? Because he couldn’t lie.

10. I went to this Gentleman’s club in Pennsylvania and this babe Lincoln gave me the Gettysburg undress.

#9 – 1. Presidents Day Jokes

9. Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard?… He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill.

8. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous baseball player? Babe Lincoln.

7. How do you to play War of 1812? You burn down a White House.

6. What would George Washington be if he were alive today? Really, really, really old.

5. What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Democratic Presidents? A CORNservative.

4. Why was Abraham Lincoln barn in a log cabin?… Because it was too cold to be born outside!

3. What was the most popular dance in 1776? Indepen-dance.

2. How did George Washington speak to his army? In general terms.

1.The teacher asked little Johnny, “Johnny, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Little Johnny replied, “No, Miss. I thought he lived in Washington.”

Ideas for the top 49 Presidents Day jokes were taken from the following source. ^[1]Jokes 4 Us – Presidents Day Joke^[2]LaffGaff – Presidents day Joke^[3]My Town Tutors – Top 10 President’s Day Jokes: Jokes for Teachers