Top 74 Happiness Jokes

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Laughter is what makes life so great. It is great to be a happy person. With that in mind, check out the top 74 happiness jokes.

#74 – 70. Happiness Jokes

74. I have a gravel path in my garden while my neighbor’s is concrete. I think mine wins on aggregate.

73. If you had friends like mine, you’d be the luckiest guy in the world!

72. My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly… I’m not a fan.

71. Some people cause happiness wherever they go while some, whenever they go

70. Where is happiness made? At the satisfactory.

#69 – 60. Happiness Jokes

69. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.

68. Live every day like it was the last day, and one day you won’t miss.

67. My wife and I had no idea what happiness meant until we had kids. But by then, it was too late.

66. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

65. Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I’d still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike.

64. I have given up on my stand up comedy routines. Everybody just keeps laughing at me.

63. Don’t be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that dogs can’t fly.

62. Happiness is like peeing in your pants Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth

61. Not to brag, but I still fit into the lack of enthusiasm I had in high school.

60. Love is like Heaven… It makes me wish I was dead.

#59 – 50. Happiness Jokes

59. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family… in another city!

58. Money can’t buy you happiness. Well check this out, i just brought a happy meal

57. My tennis opponent was not happy with my serve. He kept returning it.

56. Nothing is better than infinite happiness; a pizza is better than nothing Therefore a pizza is better than infinite happiness

55. When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.

54. There’s nothing like the joy on a kid’s face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas.

53. Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them!

52. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?

51. I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

50. How do we know that soccer referees are happy? Because they whistle while they work.

#49 – 40. Happiness Jokes

49. Anyone who says money can’t buy happiness…Has obviously never paid for a divorce.

48. The only thing between a man and true, life long happiness…are 2 vertebrae.

47. So I rang up a local building firm, I said ‘I want a skip outside my house.’ He said ‘I’m not stopping you.’

46. What starts with M, ends with E and can bring two people eternal happiness? Me, I’m a divorce lawyer

45. Why was the bee flying down the motorway with his legs crossed? He was looking for a BP station

44. I told my mom I’m happy and she said: “I didn’t know you were gay.”

43. Scientists are concerned the legalization of marijuana in Canada may result in an entire nation of overly friendly and polite people.

42. For my wife’s birthday, I bought her a fridge freezer. I know it’s not much, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it.

41. Today an obese friend reached a new level of happiness. He just realized that every cafe in town is an “all you can eat” place.

40. I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?

#39 – 30. Happiness Jokes

39. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

38. I’m very pleased with my new fridge magnet. So far I’ve got twelve fridges.

37. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

36. It’s true that money can’t buy happiness; but happiness cannot buy groceries.

35. I didn’t realize what true happiness was until I got married. But by then it was already too late.

34. Why was the horse so happy? Because he lived in a stable environment.

33. Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

32. You should be happy we’re having turkey, rather than the turkey have us.

31. Two aerials met on a roof. They fell in love and got married.  The ceremony was rubbish – but the reception was brilliant

30. Two dogs are walking along a street. They are passed by a third dog driving a lorry load of logs. One turns to the other and says: “He started fetching a stick and built up the business from there.”

#29 – 20. Happiness Jokes

29. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer

28. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish

27. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe Philoppe

26. Despite my last 12,000 tweets, I’m actually really fun.

25. Got asked by two Thai girls if I wanted a threesome. They said it would be like winning the lottery. To my horror they were right. We had 6 matching balls.

24. Nobody ever asks how Coca-Cola is doing. It’s always, “Is Pepsi okay?”

23. Do you want to hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke, jooooooooooooke.

22. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.

21. They say you can’t buy happiness, But between you and me, I know a guy. Of course, he calls it ecstasy, but it’s the same stuff.

20. I just drank a monster energy drink and I’m still depressed but like, excitedly.

#19 – 10. Happiness Jokes

19. As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said, “You know, one would have been enough.”

18. People who say that their wedding day was the best day ever have obviously never had two Kit Kats fall out of a vending machine.

17. If the Swan symbolizes happiness, then what bird symbolizes True Love? The Swallow

16. I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace” So I bought her nothing.

15. Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field.

14. I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

13. Why was the horse so happy? Because he lived in a stable environment

12. Some people are so happy to see you in the parade, so they have another reason to crap on it.

11. Life is good you know. So I suggest you get one.

10. The Beach Boys walk into a bar. One says to the other “Round? Round? Get a round? I get a round?”

#9 – 1. Happiness Jokes

9. Teacher: can anyone name three Kings that brought happiness and peace to earth? Student: Drin King, Smo King, and Fuc King!

8. Two cannibals eating a clown, one turned to the other and said: ‘does this taste funny to you?’

7. Money doesn’t buy happiness. But somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Lamborghini than a bus.

6. I donated my phone and my watch today and you can’t imagine the happiness I felt as I saw him putting his gun back into his pocket

5. Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.

4. All of these people here talking about how they love with their whole heart… I’m just happy I didn’t bite anyone today.

3. At Comic Con, all I could think was how happy these people’s moms must be to have the house to themselves for a few hours.

2. Why was the mortgage so upset? Because it was a loan

1.People say money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you had enough money, you can have a key made.

Ideas for the top 74 happiness jokes come from the following sources.^[1]OneLineFun – Happiness One Liners^[2]Independent – International Day of Happiness: Best jokes ever^[3]UpJoke – Happiness Joke